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Is making friends hard for you?

Furioso

#Long Live The Store Called Kmart
I find it hard to make friendships of substance. All of my friendships are surface-level. I’ve noticed that I talk about kpop 90I feel like that’s my fault. I tend to keep to myself. I don’t share much about myself. I don’t reach out and try to make plans outside of school. I could go on. My so called “friends” are people who I talk to for a few minutes at school about the most basic of topics. Friendships take a lot of work. I’ve gotten very comfortable doing things alone. I’m not sure if I even want to put in that effort.
 
I find it hard to make friendships of substance. All of my friendships are surface-level. I’ve noticed that I talk about kpop 90I feel like that’s my fault. I tend to keep to myself. I don’t share much about myself. I don’t reach out and try to make plans outside of school. I could go on. My so called “friends” are people who I talk to for a few minutes at school about the most basic of topics. Friendships take a lot of work. I’ve gotten very comfortable doing things alone. I’m not sure if I even want to put in that effort.
Yes x 10000000000000. You articulated my thoughts perfectly. So much superficiality, that I'd rather be by myself. But humans are social beings and need interaction.
 

Furioso

#Long Live The Store Called Kmart
Yes x 10000000000000. You articulated my thoughts perfectly. So much superficiality, that I'd rather be by myself. But humans are social beings and need interaction.
Surface-level friendships are better than nothing. It’s nice to have people to talk to even if the conversations are not memorable. I guess I’ll just keep talking about the weather and school until the end of time.
 
Surface-level friendships are better than nothing. It’s nice to have people to talk to even if the conversations are not memorable. I guess I’ll just keep talking about the weather and school until the end of time.
Don't lose hope sis. You will find someone that you click with. Fact is that society has become more superficial and selfish, and I value my time too much to waste it on idle conversations. But like you said, sometimes superficial convos are better than nothing, and that is sad.
 
Girls have a harder time with this cause let’s face y’all bicker with each other a lot. However you’re friendships are deeper.
 
Y’all are making this too complicated friends are just people who aren’t crazy or bums and whose presence you can tolerate. You don’t all have to be into the same things or hold similar opinions.

it sounds like y’all are looking for intimacy and confusing that for friendship, maybe I am misreading it though.
 
Y’all are making this too complicated friends are just people who aren’t crazy or bums and whose presence you can tolerate. You don’t all have to be into the same things or hold similar opinions.

it sounds like y’all are looking for intimacy and confusing that for friendship, maybe I am misreading it though.
Yeah, sounds like you are projecting here.
 
i think having a friend means someone you enjoy hanging out with and share interests. That being said the only friend i've ever had was my cousin
 
Being alone without Friends is good too. People will be selfish and superficial all the time. What u need to do is, ask yourself what is important to YOU in a friend? Then, find that friend, but don't run away when u suddenly see that friend's flaws some way or some how.

Solitary has its benefits. You can explore hobbies, u can avoid drama, u can have total control of your time.

I have friends i go to lunch buffet with and gossip. Friends i travel with. Friends i never invite into my home but i go to theirs. etc etc etc
Lol you can't truly be friends with someone you never invited in to your home
 

Hybrid()

Death Awaits You
Try to hit up the neighborhood kids you grew up with. Childhood friendship is one of the best memory that can’t be replaced. You’ll click with them right from the start even though you haven’t seen each other for years
 
I will say this with a pint of salt, in regards to meeting new people in the West. If you didn't lock down a social circle in high school, or university then it becomes extremely hard to find new people to click with this is definitely the case after the age of 26, and onwards. Most people generally don't have the time to socialize because they're always working during the week or they spend most of their free time with their family or partners.

This is even the case with my friends from high school and university, imagine we use to meet once every weekend now we only meet like 3 times a month for a get-together. If you're a university student right now, make use of the free time that you have right now to make connections because after you graduate, and you get into the adult world, your social life becomes obsolete.
 
Quick question:

Do you guys find it hard to make friends? Personally for me, I’m good at talking to many different people, but I struggle with finding likeminded people that I can deeply connect with. I find so many people to be superficial, and I end up wanting to be alone a majority of the time.

What are some of the strategies that you use to build friendships with others? Is it by proximity/convenience or deliberate intention (i.e wanting friends who have x, y and z traits)?

Let’s discuss!
It depends what kinda friends you want to make or what you define as a friend...most people confuse associates or aquintances as friends

In my opinion a friend is someone you have common interests or hobbies...similar lifestyle and upbringing cos thats when your more compatible and able to make a a solid, long lasting friendship...

Most people ain't friends they're associates they just don't know it from my observation
Like a lot of people are friends through habits i.e shisha, partying etc or bonded by addiction alcohol, weed,..... or for the new generation X lol percs, lean as soon as u drop the habits...the friendship goes along with...some people are also binded by business interest its the same scenario once the business concludes or finishes...the friendship ends there too

Good friends ain't easy to come by in this day and age so if u got some count urself lucky n keep them close

P.s i think its harder for females to make genuine friendships then men

But your true best friends most of the time are your wife, girl, or for females hubby or man and ur family
 
It depends what kinda friends you want to make or what you define as a friend...most people confuse associates or aquintances as friends

In my opinion a friend is someone you have common interests or hobbies...similar lifestyle and upbringing cos thats when your more compatible and able to make a a solid, long lasting friendship...

Most people ain't friends they're associates they just don't know it from my observation
Like a lot of people are friends through habits i.e shisha, partying etc or bonded by addiction alcohol, weed,..... or for the new generation X lol percs, lean as soon as u drop the habits...the friendship goes along with...some people are also binded by business interest its the same scenario once the business concludes or finishes...the friendship ends there too

Good friends ain't easy to come by in this day and age so if u got some count urself lucky n keep them close

P.s i think its harder for females to make genuine friendships then men

But your true best friends most of the time are your wife, girl, or for females hubby or man and ur family
I have friends loool it’s just I want close friends, friends that I can have close relationships with. But when it comes to hanging out etc I’m good, I have friends for different scenarios (masjid, going out, shopping, eating...) but it’s surface level. Having really good friends who are genuine are so hard to come by. Most people are flakes and aren’t good friends. Just hang out because of loneliness.
 
I have friends loool it’s just I want close friends, friends that I can have close relationships with. But when it comes to hanging out etc I’m good, I have friends for different scenarios (masjid, going out, shopping, eating...) but it’s surface level. Having really good friends who are genuine are so hard to come by. Most people are flakes and aren’t good friends. Just hang out because of loneliness.
It's impossible to build a friendship like that at a big age, they have to be day 1. As an adult, if you make new friends, no matter how much you have in common, there will be a lot of mistrust cause youve both been burned in the past. But you can build a close friendship with your husband.
 
It's impossible to build a friendship like that at a big age, they have to be day 1. As an adult, if you make new friends, no matter how much you have in common, there will be a lot of mistrust cause youve both been burned in the past. But you can build a close friendship with your husband.
This is what I meant at this age it’s just too late for that and tbh even those friendships don’t stay the same after you have kids.
 
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