When it came to girls up until maybe 20. Not necessarily clueless but working with blinders, not able to see the forest from the trees.
In the 9th grade, I had a crush on one of the hottest girls. I was in an accelerated class that was wicked insular so it wasn't like I was vying against 100+ kids for her attention. So, to her I would lay on the charm the humor and one day I did the cheesiest thing ever; I wrote a poem dedicated to her and published it in the school paper. The teacher in charge of the paper liked me and before she put it in she asked me if I was sure I wanted "to go through with it." Without a thought I said yes.
When the paper came out, everyone knew what I was on about because I used her nickname. She didn't say one word, she never acknowledged it. But her friend, who was cute af in a white girl kinda way and who I never talked to, came up to me and said what I wrote was beautiful and if I wanted to walk her to the subway station. I said no, I was dejected because the girl I wanted didn't want me.
At the end of the school year, June, the authorities loosened their leash on the students. So, I was sitting in the back with my crush on my left and this fine Dominican girl on my right. The Dominican and I were joking around because we spent more time around each other and she started to get more physical in a sexual way. I didn't play along because my crush was right there and I only wanted her.
I don't know why I'm writing this all down on here. I don't have a journal and I just need to get out how ashamed I am of my younger self. That little fucker screwed me over so much. I ran into the Dominican girl the other day and goodness I should have locked that down back in the day (she's still with her high school boo)
There was another time this fine Brazilian who told me she was a lesbian one day out of the blue kissed me open mouth and I didn't kiss her back
Too many stories.
Ever since then I've been making up for past mistakes.
In the 9th grade, I had a crush on one of the hottest girls. I was in an accelerated class that was wicked insular so it wasn't like I was vying against 100+ kids for her attention. So, to her I would lay on the charm the humor and one day I did the cheesiest thing ever; I wrote a poem dedicated to her and published it in the school paper. The teacher in charge of the paper liked me and before she put it in she asked me if I was sure I wanted "to go through with it." Without a thought I said yes.
When the paper came out, everyone knew what I was on about because I used her nickname. She didn't say one word, she never acknowledged it. But her friend, who was cute af in a white girl kinda way and who I never talked to, came up to me and said what I wrote was beautiful and if I wanted to walk her to the subway station. I said no, I was dejected because the girl I wanted didn't want me.
At the end of the school year, June, the authorities loosened their leash on the students. So, I was sitting in the back with my crush on my left and this fine Dominican girl on my right. The Dominican and I were joking around because we spent more time around each other and she started to get more physical in a sexual way. I didn't play along because my crush was right there and I only wanted her.
I don't know why I'm writing this all down on here. I don't have a journal and I just need to get out how ashamed I am of my younger self. That little fucker screwed me over so much. I ran into the Dominican girl the other day and goodness I should have locked that down back in the day (she's still with her high school boo)
There was another time this fine Brazilian who told me she was a lesbian one day out of the blue kissed me open mouth and I didn't kiss her back
Too many stories.
Ever since then I've been making up for past mistakes.