Modern Society has corrupted my natural identity of self. My authentic individuality is disturbed by civilization process of the western world. I feel like here in the western metropolitan, i am not allowed to be myself. I am forced to pick-up polite, acceptable traits to fit in. My vanity has increased into an enormous Ego, and finally into a full blown narcissist. I also blame the literature books i have read since childhood. It has given me a sense of a reality that is distorted. I have no doubt my anxiety is a result of all those hysteria books i read of aristocratic women fainting upon being shocked. The idea of fiction scriptures turning my personality from pure, authentic brilliant child into a brilliant narcissist troll is disgusting. Nevertheless, in the end i am left with the question:
WHO AM I????
The question could be difficult to find an answer to, if you peel off, All the mental disorders attached to your natural personage. The existential question deserves deep analysis, and study. And Prayers most definitely. Who am I when i am stripped off this fake personality costume clown the west is comfortable to see me become? Can I fart loud & my action be humorous or directed at my humanity? Not Judged? Or would I be ostracized for being disgusting? The very nature of civilization is to run away from our nature. WHY? Why can't we be "Natural"? Pick our nose when I want to, sneeze without covid scare stare. Not shave my armpits. Not shower. I mean, me-pure and unadulterated smelly natural me is enough ma ha? But most importantly- I am worried about being "fake". These little civilized habit I pick on my way to growing up, don't talk to strangers, don't smile too much, lots of make up before you leave your home. Don't be fat, or don't be too thin. All this sounds like a lot of work. When stripped off all this little delicacies, I have picked since childhood, for reasons of being 'cool' or being 'civilized'- Who remains? When i am stripped of all this get-up- will you really find the Serial Killer hidden inside me?
WHO AM I????
The question could be difficult to find an answer to, if you peel off, All the mental disorders attached to your natural personage. The existential question deserves deep analysis, and study. And Prayers most definitely. Who am I when i am stripped off this fake personality costume clown the west is comfortable to see me become? Can I fart loud & my action be humorous or directed at my humanity? Not Judged? Or would I be ostracized for being disgusting? The very nature of civilization is to run away from our nature. WHY? Why can't we be "Natural"? Pick our nose when I want to, sneeze without covid scare stare. Not shave my armpits. Not shower. I mean, me-pure and unadulterated smelly natural me is enough ma ha? But most importantly- I am worried about being "fake". These little civilized habit I pick on my way to growing up, don't talk to strangers, don't smile too much, lots of make up before you leave your home. Don't be fat, or don't be too thin. All this sounds like a lot of work. When stripped off all this little delicacies, I have picked since childhood, for reasons of being 'cool' or being 'civilized'- Who remains? When i am stripped of all this get-up- will you really find the Serial Killer hidden inside me?
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