Sometimes, Somali women/girls make the mistake of marrying a man that is beneath her. Worse; a man that is beneath her and a non-Somali which makes it even worse. Either it's a test or a mistake that could have been avoided.
The following is my opinion; feel free to disagree;
(If this misfortune befell you or you are in it, it's never too late to start over, don't raise children in a toxic environment.)
Follow the Sunnah/Allah's laws, as Allah knows what is best for us;
Please know your worth. You are Allah SWT's creation, this means you are worthy of everything that is good.
Furthermore, you have the most high as your ally.
Allah said; ask and I will give you, therefore, utilise Duah, it is the most powerful tool of a Muslim.
However, you must BELIEVE!!! So be careful of this powerful tool as you WILL GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR/THINK YOU DESERVE.
If you THINK you deserve a bad man, you will get a bad man; it is as simple as this.
The following is my opinion; feel free to disagree;
(If this misfortune befell you or you are in it, it's never too late to start over, don't raise children in a toxic environment.)
Follow the Sunnah/Allah's laws, as Allah knows what is best for us;
- Lower your gaze! Don't develop crushes on random men, he could be crazy, gay, abusive or both. The point is, the way someone looks is NOT indicative of their character.
- Always involve your family/loved ones/respected people from the beginning of your 'courting process'. They have a clearer head/more experience than you do. Trust them.
- DON'T spend time alone in a secluded place with a strange man, he can rape you or ruin your reputation with lies, hence involving your loved ones is key.
- IF they approve; do ISTIKHAARAH PROPERLY and go with your gut.
- You have emotional intelligence ! If you sense "crazy", he is crazy: RUN.
- Don't listen to words; look at his actions.
- IF he is Ajnabi, make sure he is better than any Somali man you will ever meet/have ever met. Marrying a foreigner is not easy and no, it is NOT haram to turn down a muslim, compatibility is very important so being from the same country/culture is critical!
Please know your worth. You are Allah SWT's creation, this means you are worthy of everything that is good.
Furthermore, you have the most high as your ally.
Allah said; ask and I will give you, therefore, utilise Duah, it is the most powerful tool of a Muslim.
However, you must BELIEVE!!! So be careful of this powerful tool as you WILL GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR/THINK YOU DESERVE.
- Self-care- physical, emotional, mental; this means work out, eat well, pray/meditate, get an education/job etc.
- Find yourself- this sounds cliche but it's important, if you don't know yourself, you don't know what makes you happy.
- Learn your rights as a Muslim woman/rights of a Muslim man.
- Find a halal stream of income; a strong woman becomes a strong wife/mother.
- Enhance your beauty, remember a Muslim woman has to be modest; maybe have 2 wardrobes; one for inside and one for outside.
- Pamper yourself; give yourself a spa day, do your hair/nails, exfoliate etc. If you look good, you feel good.
- Find a hobby, read books etc, the wider your knowledge, the more interesting you are.
- Learn the art of conversation.
- Learn AF SOMALI/Somali Culture/poetry/dances etc.: Women spend the most time with their children so you need to be a SOMALI lady that can raise SOMALI children.
If you THINK you deserve a bad man, you will get a bad man; it is as simple as this.