Hadith on wifes permission for second marriage

[Qeelbax]

I’ve seen men in comment sections stating that they can get second wife regardless of the first wifes opinion but I suddenly came across a hadith regarding this.


Al-Miswar ibn Makhramah reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, say upon the pulpit, “Verily, the sons of Hisham ibn al-Mughirah have sought my permission to marry their daughters to Ali ibn Abi Talib. I do not give permission, again I do not give permission, and again I do not give permission unless Ali ibn Abi Talib intends to divorce my daughter and marry their daughters. Verily, she is only a part of me. I am upset by what upsets her, and I am harmed by what harms her.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4932, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2449

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Looks like it’s another dub for the “no sister wives” team

 

[Qeelbax]

Oh yes I found another for the men that say women can not put one wife only in their marriage contract:
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

Ibn Qudamah said, “When he marries her and accepts her condition that she would not be taken out of her house or her country, then she is entitled to her condition… If he marries her and accepts her condition that he will not marry another wife, then she is entitled to separate from him if he marries another wife.”

Source: al-Mughnī 6/304

All sahih!

 

[Periplus]

The surah that allows multiple wives says if one fears injustice, they shouldn’t.

It also goes on to say that we will be unjust.

Yet people still risk dembi for another wife.

 

[Vanessa]

They like to pick and choose when it comes to Islam.

 

[Frdc]

They hide this from women for their own gains but at the end of the day you just have to see the state of Muslims in the modern world and see non of this benefit anyone but the men and even they look unintelligent amongst fellow men, not to mention what they’ll say later to Allah to explain their irresponsibility.

 

[ReerVanCadde]

Onus is on wife to set the condition before marriage if not then it's fair game

 

[Angelina]

The reality is that the majority of the major scholars will say that hadith pretains soley for Fatima as she is the daughter of the Prophet s.a.w. Therefore, since Allah has given men who can fulfill the conditions of polygamy permission, the husband does not need the wife's permission. Lets be real, polygamy would be non existant if a wife's permission needed to be sought. However, in saying that women can put in a no polygamy clause, which gives them instant divorce rights if the husband marries again.

But one thing I really want to know is, as a man why would you subject your spouse to something you know would cause emotion turmoil upon your wife? I've seen women's mental health decline after men have married another woman without discussing it before hand. To simply put it, those men do not value their wives happiness or mental wellbeing.

 

[karkaar]

just put it in the contract and sleep fam if it means that much too y'all,calaacalka naga daaya

 

[Basra]

 

[TekNiKo]

Be like this man and have your two wives fight over which one he likes more

 

[Xoxoxo]

Be like this man and have your two wives fight over which one he likes more

I will never fight for a dusty nigga. If he decided to marry another chick be my guest. He’ll pay child support and a whole bunch of other fees

 

[Taij4an]

I’ve seen men in comment sections stating that they can get second wife regardless of the first wifes opinion but I suddenly came across a hadith regarding this.


Al-Miswar ibn Makhramah reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, say upon the pulpit, “Verily, the sons of Hisham ibn al-Mughirah have sought my permission to marry their daughters to Ali ibn Abi Talib. I do not give permission, again I do not give permission, and again I do not give permission unless Ali ibn Abi Talib intends to divorce my daughter and marry their daughters. Verily, she is only a part of me. I am upset by what upsets her, and I am harmed by what harms her.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4932, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2449

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Looks like it’s another dub for the “no sister wives” team

This isn't about polgyny it is about marrying a specifc women namely abu jahls daughter, The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasalams permission is going to be saught on important matters like marrying another women while you are married to his daughter, also the reason fro denying it was not bc of polgyny but bc u can't marry the daughter of the enemy of Islam and the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasalams daughter in one marriage
Also there is no hadith to prove u need to seek ur wifes permission, The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasalam never saught his wifes permission even though they were jealous

 

[Taij4an]

I've seen women's mental health decline after men have married another woman without discussing it before hand. To simply put it, those men do not value their wives happiness or mental wellbeing.

Because the desire to have another women overcomes all mans other cares and needs to the point he doesn't care about his wife anymore

 

[Angelina]

This isn't about polgyny it is about marrying a specifc women namely abu jahls daughter, The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasalams permission is going to be saught on important matters like marrying another women while you are married to his daughter, also the reason fro denying it was not bc of polgyny but bc u can't marry the daughter of the enemy of Islam and the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasalams daughter in one marriage
Also there is no hadith to prove u need to seek ur wifes permission, The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasalam never saught his wifes permission even though they were jealous

I came across an opinion that argues that polygamy in general would have been too much for Fatima May Allah be pleased with her due to jealousy as well. I’ll find it for you.

 

[Taij4an]

I came across an opinion that argues that polygamy in general would have been too much for Fatima May Allah be pleased with her due to jealousy as well. I’ll find it for you.

-2-

The fear that this would put Faatimah to trial with regard to her religious commitment

It was narrated by al-Bukhaari (3110): “I fear lest she be put to trial with regard to her religious commitment.”

According to Muslim (2449): “Faatimah is part of me, and I fear lest she be put to trial with regard to her religious commitment.”

Jealousy is something natural in women, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) feared that jealousy might push her to do something that would not be befitting to her status, as she is the leader of the women of the worlds.

Moreover, she had lost her mother and then her sisters one after another, so she had no one to comfort her and help to make things easier for her, or listen to her concerns if she became jealous.

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: This incident occurred after the conquest of Makkah, at which time none of the daughters of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was still alive except her; after losing her mother, she had lost her sisters, and giving her cause to become jealous would have exacerbated her grief.

End quote from Fath al-Baari, 7/86

 

[Angelina]

-2-

The fear that this would put Faatimah to trial with regard to her religious commitment

It was narrated by al-Bukhaari (3110): “I fear lest she be put to trial with regard to her religious commitment.”

According to Muslim (2449): “Faatimah is part of me, and I fear lest she be put to trial with regard to her religious commitment.”

Jealousy is something natural in women, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) feared that jealousy might push her to do something that would not be befitting to her status, as she is the leader of the women of the worlds.

Moreover, she had lost her mother and then her sisters one after another, so she had no one to comfort her and help to make things easier for her, or listen to her concerns if she became jealous.

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: This incident occurred after the conquest of Makkah, at which time none of the daughters of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was still alive except her; after losing her mother, she had lost her sisters, and giving her cause to become jealous would have exacerbated her grief.

End quote from Fath al-Baari, 7/86

Yes, so seeing this why do a lot of Muslim men attack Muslim sisters for not accepting to be part of polygamous marriages when these sisters obviously have weaker Iman than Fatima who is the best of women hence will therefore struggle with jealousy a lot more which wouldn’t be good for their deen or mental health?

So many brothers say that Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her) only opposed it due to being a co-wife to Abu Jahals daughter who was also a Muslim woman. Scholars have also noted jealousy as well.

 

[Taij4an]

Yes, so seeing this why do a lot of Muslim men attack Muslim sisters for not accepting to be part of polygamous marriages when these sisters obviously have weaker Iman than Fatima who is the best of women hence will therefore struggle with jealousy a lot more which wouldn’t be good for their deen or mental health?

So many brothers say that Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her) only opposed it due to being a co-wife to Abu Jahals daughter who was also a Muslim woman. Scholars have also noted jealousy as well.

I think thats just modern day brothers who want another wife but are sick of women saying they don't want it so they pull out the deen card to try and force them into polgyny so they can do what they want.
I do believe though that alot of women are able to handle polgyny (judging by the fact that it has been practised for centuries in a majority of communities and is Islamically ordained and practices by alot of Prophets) but due to the fact that they have societal pressures etc which stop her from wanting to go into it plus her own desire to have one man she will say she hates polgyny and not want to go into it even though she knows she could handle it
There are also sisters who could never handle polgyny and should never be in polgyny

 

[Hared]

A woman's acceptance is never a condition but information beforehand is compulsory, so qudbo siro or secret marriage is outward haraam .but I encourage men to increase marriages at this time because we are facing a social crisis of unmarried women and their can never be a greater fitna. For the prophet clearly stated the fitna he fears most for this umma is fitnata niisa, the fitna of women.

 

[Angelina]

I think thats just modern day brothers who want another wife but are sick of women saying they don't want it so they pull out the deen card to try and force them into polgyny so they can do what they want.
I do believe though that alot of women are able to handle polgyny (judging by the fact that it has been practised for centuries in a majority of communities and is Islamically ordained and practices by alot of Prophets) but due to the fact that they have societal pressures etc which stop her from wanting to go into it plus her own desire to have one man she will say she hates polgyny and not want to go into it even though she knows she could handle it
There are also sisters who could never handle polgyny and should never be in polgyny

Yes, but those brothers ae simply causing a fitnah for women simply based on their desires. This has become normalized in the Muslim community. It is so bad that a Shafi Sheikh basically said that according to his madhab and even the Hanbalis having multiple wives isn’t a Sunnah per say but it is merely accepted with Shafis preferring monogamy. He was attacked by brothers, despite what he was saying being found in actual classical fiqh. Obviously, on the flip side you get sisters who are unable to accept the reality that polygamy is indeed halal in Islam and that a man not asking for permission isn’t sinning. Although most scholars would say it is good Akhlaaq to speak to her about it and take her opinions into consideration.

Furthermore, I don’t think looking at history is a good indication tbh as women had to deal with far worse than polygamy with regards to marriages. Most communities in which polygamy is rampant were also communities in which female consent with regards to marriage wasn’t sought and usually girls would be married off at 13. Hence, women have been surviving with a lot of other issues.

In saying that, even in todays modern world there are many women who are okay with it or are able to get used to the idea of sharing. I think what makes it difficult for a lot of women to stomach is that polygamy isn’t common anymore and that the vast majority of other women don’t have to share, hence they’re in a situation in which they’re wondering what is wrong with them as to why their husbands don’t think they’re enough.

 

[Angelina]

A woman's acceptance is never a condition but information beforehand is compulsory, so qudbo siro or secret marriage is outward haraam .but I encourage men to increase marriages at this time because we are facing a social crisis of unmarried women and their can never be a greater fitna. For the prophet clearly stated the fitna he fears most for this umma is fitnata niisa, the fitna of women.

There are just as much unmarried men as well. Also, right now there are more men in the world than women. Also, a recent article came out about how 60% of men are single and struggling to find partners. How about we help men get at least a wife first and foremost. Also, the vast majority of unmarried women could get married if they lowered their standards, but they would rather not be married. This is an actual phenomenon. Since women are notoriously jealous why would they lower it for a married man they would have to share?