Girls ONLY. I am depressed & I need to vent.

[AbdiFreedom]

This is so true. This is seen as “the ideal daughter” with Somalis but people like this struggle in the real world. I struggled during nursing school because I wasn’t raised to be assertive or share my opinions. I think my instructors thought I was slow lmao, they gave me a hard time. I had to learn to speak my mind, the hard way.

I’m doing better now but I still find that I get anxious standing up to my parents especially my hooyo, she can be very mean and cruel with her words, and start habaaring you when you disagree with her.

I hope to move out in spring or summer 2024. I want to fully develop as an independent adult.

The damage some Somali parents have done to their daughters is unforgivable. They have screwed them over. You can clearly tell which ones grew up that way within just seconds of observing them. No eye contact, not capable of holding a conversation, look depressed and lifeless, no interests, and glued to their phones. It’s bone chilling to witness.

Im glad you’re freeing yourself from the shackles.

 

[Sophisticate]

If I get a daughter, I will expect her to respectfully challenge me and live a fulsome life. Anything less is a fatherhood failure. I get annoyed when parents brag that their daughter is shy, quiet, and doesn’t go out. Why would you be happy to have a daughter with no personality, no strong opinions and who will definitely get anxiety and depression? Some will rebel and go to the extreme. The most well adjusted women are those with close relationships with their parents who encouraged her to live life. You’ll never see women like that be promiscuous or have risky lifestyles.

AJ, we'll do some fieldwork in the club district. We never got a chance to go outside. Many were like us. Other than our online shadow lives we were caged and well-behaved resulting in a third-life crisis (common in the over 30s). Aren't you tempted to bashaal by staying up past 10 pm.

 

[Gojo Satoru]

It’s ironic because I know women who live at home who aren’t virgins, they just lie a lot to their parents about their whereabouts. If someone wants to have sex they will do it, living with family or not.

Parents need to trust that they taught their daughters enough islamic values and principles that she will uphold them even when she’s out of their sight. The lack of trust and infantilisation is annoying.

People on this website are so naive wallahi. I know plenty of modestly dressed hijabis who aren't virgins. Even back home people do zina all the time. It's just one of those things you can never control

 

[Khad2023]

People on this website are so naive wallahi. I know plenty of modestly dressed hijabis who aren't virgins. Even back home people do zina all the time. It's just one of those things you can never control

W-where can I find them? I have a hijabi fetish

 

[THRESH]

People on this website are so naive wallahi. I know plenty of modestly dressed hijabis who aren't virgins. Even back home people do zina all the time.

I recall the story of a xaliimo in jigjiga who let 8 guys her age release their "magic juice" in the backseat of a tuktuk/bajaaj. It was due to lack of sexual education so imagine her reaction when she found out she was pregnant.

Ofc her parents were furious she commited zina but they flipped when they found out it was with 8 guys
The fam called liyu police and got all 8 arrested for questioning. They were all kept there until the baby was born and they had a dna test done.

The father, was revealed to be a guy named Khadar baadiye amongst them. His only defence was that he was new to the city and was convinced by the others that it is OK and that it's modern and fashionable
In the end he was forced to marry her and the baby was claimed by the girl's mother as her own

 

[Internet Nomad]

W-where can I find them? I have a hijabi fetish

 

[sassyhunny]

This is the unfortunate reality of most girls living in Somali households. I’m a few years younger than you and I fear that if I don’t separate myself from everything that I know, I will not be living. It sounds harsh to say I know, it’s not that I hate my life right now but sometimes you need to put yourself first. I’m not living, I’m surviving.

You’re living in your body, they’re not. They can’t really control anything you do, neither can you to a certain extent. I’d say worry about what you can control than what you can’t. We can’t let fear imprison us. Authobillah.

I’m so sorry, love. We really understand your frustration, I’m saying that on behalf of most somali sisters. May Allah provide you guidance and ease your pain.

 

[Mckenzie]

I am beginning to really resent my family.

I am 27, & I feel like I missed out on pivotal, great life experiences because of my controlling mother.

Missed out on the high school experience: no close friends, no prom.

Missed out on the college experience: commuted 1.5-2 hrs to school bc parents wanted us to stay home. No friends.

I always hear about how fun the somali weddings/parties/get-togethers are but I've never been to one.

I've lived an incredibly sheltered life and it's starting to get to me.

Moving out won't happen anytime soon because I just got laid off & rent in Toronto is insane but don't get it twisted, I am the one that makes the $$ here, and my family can't afford for ME to move out. It is like I give my mother $$ monthly to pay for my own imprisonment.

I really don't wanna hear any opinions from guys at the moment, because you will never understand how it feels to be a Somali girl in suffocating, controlling household. My brothers are allowed to do whatever they want but God forbid, I go out to dinner with my friends after work.

Every time I go out it's a fight, fucking phone calls past 9pm. It gives me anxiety & all I wanna do is just have fun.

I fucking hate my life.

This World was actually created as a punishment for humans. As someone who lived a very outgoing life i can tell you there is little to nothing you've missed out on. When it's also apparent how easily things can go wrong in life, you'll cherish your shelter alot more.

1. We didn't even have a Prom in my school because it was a boys school. Nor did i keep in regular touch with anyone from there. I might nod at or chat with 1 or 2 i rarely see on the high street but nothing more.

2. If College is University in this case, the only real "fun" is partying and drugs. Both which can leave you with an unwanted addiction, guilt, paranoia, toxic friends and high costs racked up. But when i think of other aspects of College days i think of too many exams and bad eating habits. Maybe the few times i played monopoly and card games with mixed friendship groups was fun but i wouldn't call it "memorable".

3. Somali Parties and Weddings is a glorified staring contest. Sure it's good to look nice and take selfies but the older you get the more you realise Weddings are really no different to Tacsi - a show of face out of respect for your relatives.

You either watch too many movies or read the wrong social media reviews. Creating memories the Gaalo tell you is finding a toxic bf, breaking up with him and going through strings of bad decision making and ending it off with "I need God and Gym". As a man in his 30s with a young family now i look more forward to a more controlled and sheltered life actually. Football in the park, restaurants and outings once in a while etc. Very simple things.

Only thing i will say is i see alot of Xaliimos who have travelled far more extensively now than ever before in history. You'll find a Somali girl in Nicaragua and the Peruvian Amazon. Personally i would only travel to Muslim countries. Too much travel is a sign of escapism. I have friends who took a long sabbatical to the Far East trying to break their cycle of life, just to end up coming back and becoming more religious. Man is not made for a life of whims and desire. In the words of Will Smith, "nothing is more agitating to the mind than extreme pleasure."

Live a fulfilling life with the resources you have. Girls in Somalia are surrounded by shacks and goats while you likely live in a city that has bussling activities going on during the day. Go to a day time theme park, have brunch dates at starbucks and gossip with your friends about the boys you're trying to date, go and visit films, theatre, museums, comedy skits etc.

 

[CDG89]

Live a fulfilling life with the resources you have.

This is so true thanks saxiib.

 

[Ladylike]

I recall the story of a xaliimo in jigjiga who let 8 guys her age release their "magic juice" in the backseat of a tuktuk/bajaaj. It was due to lack of sexual education so imagine her reaction when she found out she was pregnant.

Ofc her parents were furious she commited zina but they flipped when they found out it was with 8 guys
The fam called liyu police and got all 8 arrested for questioning. They were all kept there until the baby was born and they had a dna test done.

The father, was revealed to be a guy named Khadar baadiye amongst them. His only defence was that he was new to the city and was convinced by the others that it is OK and that it's modern and fashionable
In the end he was forced to marry her and the baby was claimed by the girl's mother as her own

You are disgusting for blaming her this. 8 niggas against one girl? This is rape nothing funny here it sound like she might have been abused or bullied. Stupid I hope you never have girls. This stuff happens to a lot girls back home where they are ambushed and raped by multiple men. Nacala kugu taal