Fear of getting darker in the summer…

I absolutely hate the summer. Weather's too hot, get too sweaty and can't find anything cooling but modest to wear. Let's not forget all the tanning. I have so much PTSD from getting insulted by family and randoms while living back home for my dark skin, that a slight tan irks me. Insha-Allah, we will be able to get over the choke-hold colourism has on our community and we will be able to learn how to love how God created us.

If you live in the US, a great dupe for Supergoop is Kroger Sunscreen Invisible Gel SPF 40. I've used both and they are extremely similar, in fact I liked the Kroger brand more because it had less piling.
I actually am a big fan of supergoop and use it all the time, the past few years. And I was back home too, and they kept making stupid ass comments in regard to my face tan abs my hands being darker than the rest of my body.

Simply put, over there they are cruel with how blunt they are about color, with all the bleaching stores everywhere.

And isn’t it already a struggle as a Muslimah to endure the summer while being modest ? We struggle Wallahi, and with the topic of colourism… it’s getting better I feel, but still not there.
 
I wanna vent about something I usually don’t admit to people, since only a close few know about it …
I know some folks don’t think colourism is a issue within our culture… but unfortunately it is and the way it can affect certain people can really mess them.

I am brown skin, but Somali folks within our community would describe it as “Mariin”? Sorry if I misspelled it.

But other Africans and blacks would always say my color was a “safe brown” or a acceptable skin tone, and I was always told that if I was any darker… men wouldn’t find me attractive. This was said to my face plenty of times.

Family and co workers would always remark how much prettier I was before I got tan.

I was always reminded by others to be careful in the sun and not get darker.

I was always compared to my older brother who was maybe a shade lighter, but was always praised for his light skin.
It never bothered me wallahi until I turned 19, when some fob chicks said how I would be much prettier if our skin tones were switched and how it’s a shame for the sisters to be darker than the brothers. Suddenly I compared myself to him.

Alhamdulillah I can say that I never bleached despite my family and others pressuring me.
What’s interesting is that they always remarked how nice my body color was and to bleach my face and hands to make it match my body.

When one wears a hijab their whole lives, their faces and hands tend to be darker than the body, and I couldn’t help it.

Over the recent years I’ve always loved my skin color but it’s sad that being always told if my face was the same color as my body, that I would be more prettier, has made me have self esteem.

Maybe y’all would laugh at this, but I just wanted to ask if it’s normal to think this way or not ?
I used to only like light skinned girls when I was younger, but my prefferences and what I found appealing changed or should I say that they expanded to include certain demographics.

Features tend to be important for me. Body as well.

It also depends on the time of day and whether I've exercised or not. Increased level of testosterone could make me attracted to female hulk.
 

HiraanBorn

Generalfeldmarschall von CadCads
Most cultures prefered lighter skin on women even before European colonialism. Somalis of old also praised lighter reddish-brown skin tone on women, it is what it is.

Accept your skin colour and learn to love it but beauty standards aren't going to change anytime soon abaayo. The world is f**ked up and xoolo are everywhere.
 

Based

VIP
Our ancestors lived in the brutal desert wearing 2 cloths around their shoulders and didn’t have access to sunscreen. A bit of sun won’t hurt you :francis:
 
Most cultures prefered lighter skin on women even before European colonialism. Somalis of old also praised lighter reddish-brown skin tone on women, it is what it is.

Accept your skin colour and learn to love it but beauty standards aren't going to change anytime soon abaayo. The world is f**ked up and xoolo are everywhere.
That’s what im talking about is that I’m the accepted reddish brown on the lighter end, but tan easily and I become more darker. And constantly hearing it from everyone around me and colourism within our culture does play a part in why I don’t like tanning. I’ve gotten a lot better at it and can admit my way of thinking is wrong.
 
I hate how somalis r black yet have a being black phobia. The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice
I’ve said I like my colour, but can admit the effects of colourism within our culture do play a part in why I don’t like getting tanner, which I’m working on. Black is beautiful and we age well.
 
I wanna vent about something I usually don’t admit to people, since only a close few know about it …
I know some folks don’t think colourism is a issue within our culture… but unfortunately it is and the way it can affect certain people can really mess them.

I am brown skin, but Somali folks within our community would describe it as “Mariin”? Sorry if I misspelled it.

But other Africans and blacks would always say my color was a “safe brown” or a acceptable skin tone, and I was always told that if I was any darker… men wouldn’t find me attractive. This was said to my face plenty of times.

Family and co workers would always remark how much prettier I was before I got tan.

I was always reminded by others to be careful in the sun and not get darker.

I was always compared to my older brother who was maybe a shade lighter, but was always praised for his light skin.
It never bothered me wallahi until I turned 19, when some fob chicks said how I would be much prettier if our skin tones were switched and how it’s a shame for the sisters to be darker than the brothers. Suddenly I compared myself to him.

Alhamdulillah I can say that I never bleached despite my family and others pressuring me.
What’s interesting is that they always remarked how nice my body color was and to bleach my face and hands to make it match my body.

When one wears a hijab their whole lives, their faces and hands tend to be darker than the body, and I couldn’t help it.

Over the recent years I’ve always loved my skin color but it’s sad that being always told if my face was the same color as my body, that I would be more prettier, has made me have self esteem.

Maybe y’all would laugh at this, but I just wanted to ask if it’s normal to think this way or not ?
1. u shouldnt care what men think
2.Men are not all the same they like all different types of colours and shades, Some men like dark skinned women some brown some yellow some white, for every 1 man who likes a white women there will be another who likes a black woman and so on
3.The women who u r listening to are stupid and are not the determiner for who or who isnt pretty or not so you shouldnt care what they think
4.Everyone has some kind of insecurity within the way they look, if u dont believe me, look at the most pretty women models in the world, look how much mental illnesses they have because of how imperfect they think they look, look at how their life turns miserable the more supposedly "pretty" they make themselves look. If the most pretty women are insecure about thier looks then obviously every women will be, it is natural especially when people talk down on you. But u have to realise that everything ppl say is their own opinion, sometimes it isnt even their opinion they are just jealous of you or repeating a belief they heard from their culture.
Point is you are fine and nothing is wrong with you and noone actually cares about skin colour most the of the time its only bored and sad people who feel the need to say you look prettier lighter bc they are trying to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better about themselves.
 

Hodan from HR

Staff Member
@Amina99 btw I notice some people have drastic skin tone difference between their face and hands to the rest of their body even in the winters. I know a girl like this. It is soo bad that if she wears short sleeves she looks like she did blackface. This can be attributed to diet. Investing in skin care, regular facials and healthier diet can help even out our overall complexion.

I tan dark brown in the summers too.
Some annoying comments but idc.
Sun makes me happy, alhmd 😇
 
@Amina99 btw I notice some people have drastic skin tone difference between their face and hands to the rest of their body even in the winters. I know a girl like this. It is soo bad that if she wears short sleeves she looks like she did blackface. This can be attributed to diet. Investing in skin care, regular facials and healthier diet can help even out our overall complexion.

I tan dark brown in the summers too.
Some annoying comments but idc.
Sun makes me happy, alhmd 😇
Abaayo, I love that you mentioned this, as I’ve been plant based for the last few years, drink water and have a good skin care routine, and that made a drastic change to skin tone when it comes to hijab and hands tan.

And I am such a outdoors girl like you, but those comments I grew up with always play in the back of my mind about getting tanner. And I usually ignore them and will do better.
 

seungminsfavmali

certified hayawan
I


I am proud and I can admit in the back of my mind, that this isn’t right to think this way, but I’m getting better and working on it.
And I use spf 50 daily within the last few years to maintain an even skin tone.
i hope things get better for you
 

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