empressjamila
yktv
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Does anyone else not have a relationship with their dad even though he’s physically present
- Thread starter empressjamila
- Start date
Sadly I have the opposite relationship with my dad, his complained to me more than once that I’m always confined to my room and doing come out to the living room to engage with other family members more often, and that I don’t see advise from him and not open with him about my problems (some which he has found out inadvertently). I got a lot closer with him now that I moved out though. I found it hard to open up to my dad in my younger years as he was very strict and judgemental it now he’s a bit more chilled.
Unfortunately I don’t have any advise other than I don’t think your situation is not uncommon. Maybe try expressing these feelings you shared here with him, it’s never too late.
Unfortunately I don’t have any advise other than I don’t think your situation is not uncommon. Maybe try expressing these feelings you shared here with him, it’s never too late.
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empressjamila
yktv
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empressjamila
yktv
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Nah, not talking to your child to such an extent that you might as well be absent isn't normal. It's sad, like what is the point? It makes me think that fathers like that are only physically there because their still married to the hooyo, hence they simply tolerate their child and they get to brag about increasing their qabil. That is why once they're divorced, its easy for them to cut their child out of their life, because they were never emotionally and mentally there in the first place.
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NordicSomali
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Traditional somali fathers are like that, western kids want more bonding with their parents but kids in somalia survive what would be called emotional abuse and they become functional adults in spite.
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I think you should confront him, or you guys should do it as a group. Ambush him one day in his room and tell him wassup dad? why u like this?
seriously, it's better to find out why he is being like this so you guys can at least get a closure instead of wondering, even after he passes someday.
seriously, it's better to find out why he is being like this so you guys can at least get a closure instead of wondering, even after he passes someday.
mrlog
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empressjamila
yktv
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empressjamila
yktv
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Some of our elders went through some wild stuff back in somalia.Dont forget they where refugees from a wartorn country.
Maybe that why some of them are emotionally distant
Hybrid()
Death Awaits You
Separating from your family and moving to a country where the culture is different, you don't speak the local language well, and you also have to provide for your local and distant family can have a negative impact on your mental health. Working aabos from back home aren't outgoing but they're mentally healthy and the kids and parents have emotional support as everyone is surrounded by relatives from both sides.
The happiest fobs I met are those who have their siblings, parents and cousins living in the same country. Living as an alien in a totally different cultures causes many mental problems.
Instead of criticizing your father, you should count your blessings as you have everything to live a happier life.
The happiest fobs I met are those who have their siblings, parents and cousins living in the same country. Living as an alien in a totally different cultures causes many mental problems.
Instead of criticizing your father, you should count your blessings as you have everything to live a happier life.
mrlog
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All Somali relatives back home are like that. They abuse the most caring person who sends them money.
With respect to the situation about your father not getting involved with his children's life, please take it with your mom first and let her know about your worry. You should request your mom to discuss with your father about your young brothers and their need of a male figure. Let her know that if he doesn't step up to the plate, there is a high chance that these young men could join the wrong groups. (Most of the Somali boys who join gangs is the result of absent fathers in their upbringing).
In the even that your mom doesn't succeed, try to talk with him while being polite and let him know that you worry about the boys. Insha'Allah it will work out and kheyr will come out of it. You have my brotherly sympathy. I've seen first hand of some Somali men who weren't fulfulling their responsibilities towards their children.
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