Do you still think about your first love?

[notinuse.]

I know this sounds cheesy but I read somewhere that men tend to still think or reminisce about their first love, the girl that they initially had an eye for or had chemistry with to put in simply terms whereas women tend to think about their most passionate love. At first I thought it was silly until I saw video of an elderly man who was married and had children tell his story about the first girl he truly loved and his eyes lighten up.

Do you still think about her? The girl you had your eyes on for the first time.

 

[Sophisticate]

This may be in the man cave section but oddly I have never been in love. I think this has something to do with the fact that I downplay and delegimatize (premarital relationships/suitors as their isn't an on-paper commitment yet so for me it seems too soon). If anyone ever said it I would question their intentions. Not in a nefarious or untrusting way but I'd assume they were being led by infatuation and not rational thinking. I cannot base love on a feeling that is transient or will dissapate based out of someone falling out of favour. I prefer to use the term liking or somewhat of a fondness.

​

 

[notinuse.]

This may be in the man cave section but oddly I have never been in love. I think this has something to do with the fact that I downplay and delegimatize (premarital relationships/suitors as their isn't an on-paper commitment yet so for me it seems too soon). If anyone ever said it I would question their intentions. Not in a nefarious or untrusting way but I'd assume they were being led by infatuation and not rational thinking. I cannot base love on a feeling that is transient or will dissapate based out of someone falling out of favour. I prefer to use the term liking or somewhat of a fondness.

​

I understand where you're coming from, I had guys who used to convince their love for me but I never reciprocated it because I never really understood the whole point of it? Despite them being genuine and vulnerable towards me I would instantly turn cold and distant almost as if I had this self destructive trait of rejecting love. Thankfully due to me meeting my current boyfriend, I allowed myself to truly love someone without the thought of thinking that its all pointless.

 

[Khaemwaset]

I know this sounds cheesy but I read somewhere that men tend to still think or reminisce about their first love, the girl that they initially had an eye for or had chemistry with to put in simply terms whereas women tend to think about their most passionate love. At first I thought it was silly until I saw video of an elderly man who was married and had children tell his story about the first girl he truly loved and his eyes lighten up.

Do you still think about her? The girl you had your eyes on for the first time.

Don't remind me. I missed too many blatant chances because I was a thick headed lad

Walahi I'm gonna start crying because of my stupidity

 

[Khaemwaset]

Don't remind me. I missed too many blatant chances because I was a thick headed lad

Walahi I'm gonna start crying because of my stupidity

I remember walking to class with her after 2 hours chatting under a tree in some quite place and she said "[Name] , you're a really cute guy" and I responded, "i know, where is class tho"
She said it again and I responded the same way.
This is just one instance of me being dumb as hell with her
Honestly she probably thought I wasn't interested anymore which is a shame

 

[Yusuf Abdi Ali Rashid]

Every day, though to be fair i think about her father more often. One day i’m going to find him and beat him senseless.

 

[Khaemwaset]

When I was young a boy once cooked halal food for me (he wasn't muslim) I genuinely thought he was just being randomly nice until one of my classmate had to explain to me that he had a crush on me for a while. I am literally braindead when it comes to people to flirting with me, I always assume they're just being nice.

Same I just think they are being nice not flirty.
Walahi I'm getting PTSD from remembering my dumbass swimming past girls in school

 

[notinuse.]

Every day, though to be fair i think about her father more often. One day i’m going to find him and beat him senseless.

Story time? I would like to know what he did

 

[Yusuf Abdi Ali Rashid]

Story time? I would like to know what he did

It’s too traumatic to go into detail. Just know he’s the biggest cock block in the world.

 

[notinuse.]

@Kane as a self-proclaimed "women expert" I would like to know your answer?

 

[JackieBurkhart]

Story time? I would like to know what he did

His story:

Since everyone’s talking about love lately, i’ll tell you about my first love. She was a 17 year old lightskin somali girl from Australia, only a year older than me at the time. She worked in her fathers restaurant, which is where i got to know her. She was a beauty like no other, but her father used to bully me alot. We exchanged contact info, but i failed to keep in touch when i left. Now i spend my days chewing khat and reminiscing about what could’ve been. This was in bosasso.

 

[Johnathan Smith]

I remember walking to class with her after 2 hours chatting under a tree in some quite place and she said "[Name] , you're a really cute guy" and I responded, "i know, where is class tho"
She said it again and I responded the same way.
This is just one instance of me being dumb as hell with her
Honestly she probably thought I wasn't interested anymore which is a shame

Damn u really missed an opportunity.
You woulda been like our ancestors. The great sheikhs dir darood hawiye and raxanweyne. All their love stories began under a tree. Damn the tradition really lives on walahi.

 

[Sophisticate]

I understand where you're coming from, I had guys who used to convince their love for me but I never reciprocated it because I never really understood the whole point of it? Despite them being genuine and vulnerable towards me I would instantly turn cold and distant almost as if I had this self destructive trait of rejecting love. Thankfully due to me meeting my current boyfriend, I allowed myself to truly love someone without the thought of thinking that its all pointless.

I think as a woman it's natural to be somewhat guarded. So, I get why you'd be intially skeptical with the others and made an exception when you felt the energy, interest and feelings were matched.

If someone says something about love you have no clue what that even means. Some people say it casually, and it could be time bound to a day, week, month, year(s). Also, you have to inquire about the intent. Frequency of this utterance and nature of the relationship. Is it used to gain leverage? Does it seem genuine? Heck, are they even capable of love?

I've heard lofty words said many a time and though they might be nice and the individuals in question might mean it for a time. I wonder. I consider love expressed through actions that show fidelity, commitment, durability/longevity and stability. Other people might have a different perspective.​

 

[notinuse.]

I think as a woman it's natural to be somewhat guarded. So, I get why you'd be intially skeptical with the others and made an exception when you felt the energy, interest and feelings were matched.

If someone says something about love you have no clue what that even means. Some people say it casually, and it could be time bound to a day, week, month, year(s). Also, you have to inquire about the intent. Frequency of this utterance and nature of the relationship. Is it used to gain leverage? Does it seem genuine? Heck, are they even capable of love?

I've heard lofty words said many a time and though they might be nice and the individuals in question might mean it for a time. I wonder. I consider love expressed through actions that show fidelity, commitment, durability/longevity and stability. Other people might have a different perspective.​

I agree, I realised over the years how much I underestimate the power of chemistry between two people especially when it comes to love.

 

[DR OSMAN]

I know this sounds cheesy but I read somewhere that men tend to still think or reminisce about their first love, the girl that they initially had an eye for or had chemistry with to put in simply terms whereas women tend to think about their most passionate love. At first I thought it was silly until I saw video of an elderly man who was married and had children tell his story about the first girl he truly loved and his eyes lighten up.

Do you still think about her? The girl you had your eyes on for the first time.

I still remember one girl, think about her alot and will for the rest of my life I think, she was both pretty and smart and we could discuss a range of topics and grow, I fell more in love with her mind then looks, but we had different life goals which wasn't compromisable. That's why I tell ppl, it's better to stop n not get married and divorced and have kids who are effected thru your poor choices.

The rule I always follow is

1. Physical attraction
2. Personality/Mind
3. Life goals
4. Learn more about unsuccessful marriages together
5. Background checks(positive/negative from family n friends) and asking them directly what their negativity is since no1 is perfect and if they don't declare theirs since no1 is perfect, I wouldn't bother further, as it will come out later when your married.

 

[DR OSMAN]

I agree, I realised over the years how much I underestimate the power of chemistry between two people especially when it comes to love.

I would advice Somali women to think about upward mobility in your partner choices and not go for dead-beats in the hood, If I was a woman, that would be apart of my 'standards'. But don't be fully money hungry either, it's a balancing act, cuz buying stuff does 'wear off' and it becomes like drug addiction where u need to repeat it for 'short high' before it gets boring again. So balance it out but don't 'neglect' it either.

 

[Yaraye]

I can't even make eye contact with men how am I gonna have true love?

 

[notinuse.]

I can't even make eye contact with men how am I gonna have true love?

Some guy's will create a whole love story just by glancing at a woman, I swear it surprises how quick some of them fall in love.

 

[notinuse.]

I still remember one girl, think about her alot and will for the rest of my life I think, she was both pretty and smart and we could discuss a range of topics and grow, I fell more in love with her mind then looks, but we had different life goals which wasn't compromisable. That's why I tell ppl, it's better to stop n not get married and divorced and have kids who are effected thru your poor choices.

The rule I always follow is

1. Physical attraction
2. Personality/Mind
3. Life goals
4. Learn more about unsuccessful marriages together
5. Background checks(positive/negative from family n friends) and asking them directly what their negativity is since no1 is perfect and if they don't declare theirs since no1 is perfect, I wouldn't bother further, as it will come out later when your married.

I completely agree with you, it's better to acknowledge the difference between each other rather than being oblivious and blinded by love because that will lead to nothing but destruction.

I would advice Somali women to think about upward mobility in your partner choices and not go for dead-beats in the hood, If I was a woman, that would be apart of my 'standards'. But don't be fully money hungry either, it's a balancing act, cuz buying stuff does 'wear off' and it becomes like drug addiction where u need to repeat it for 'short high' before it gets boring again. So balance it out but don't 'neglect' it either.

My eldest sisters and her fiance are a perfect example of a match made in heaven. They're both educated, financially stable and have similar personalities and have known each other since they were teens. He's not somali but he treats my sister like a Princess, gives her his full support and takes care of her when needed, which is the most important thing that matters to my father his daughters being in a healthy and loving relationship with a caring and genuine men.

 

[Khaemwaset]

Some guy's will create a whole love story just by glancing at a woman, I swear it surprises how quick some of them fall in love.

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