This is an excerpt from one of Tariq Jameel’s speeches. Its translated more or less meaning. My notes are in brackets.
Our Prophet (saw) has given us example of beautiful life. He has shown how homes will flourish. Whoever accepts that method, that home will be recipient of ‘happiness’. To summarize the method is one word, forbearance.
Here comes the husband, ‘I want things my way’. Here comes the wife, ‘I want things my way’. You have lighted a fire that won’t be put out. Relationships only work when there is compromise. Relationships don’t thrive when someone is trying to dominate the other. You need to compromise. You need to tolerate. Whoever learns forbearance, I take oath by Allah that their life will be beautiful.
This has no relation with looks (beauty), gold, silver, jewelry (wealth). A beautiful character adorns life.
I remembered one hadith Saeed Khudri (rad) reported Prophet (saw) said “Save yourself from Khadra Damien”. Companions asked ” what is Khadra Damien?” Prophet (saw) replied ” Save yourself from characterless beautiful woman.” (Sunan Daraqutni)
(It means) do not fall for her beauty such that you sacrifice everything else. Or else life will be destroyed. Save yourself from ill character. Human being can tolerate hunger but will not tolerate ill speech.
[Above quoted hadith is very weak hadith. Scholars differ on use of weak hadith. Even if its not an authentic hadith it contains wisdom.
An authentic hadith that corroborates above is Prophet (saw) told us, ‘Women are married for four reasons: for their wealth, their status [lineage], their beauty, and for their religiousness. Make sure you get a really religious woman. Otherwise, may you come to misfortune!’ (Bukhari and Muslim) Scholars have inferred from this that this applies to both genders not just men.
Alluding to first hadith I have seen both genders forego reason when it comes to looks. Religion is least concern or they are so infatuated that they are blind to shortcomings of other person. Once the infatuation wears off and relationship is sour they go to religion to obtain their rights by then significant harm has already taken place.]
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Our Prophet (saw) has given us example of beautiful life. He has shown how homes will flourish. Whoever accepts that method, that home will be recipient of ‘happiness’. To summarize the method is one word, forbearance.
Here comes the husband, ‘I want things my way’. Here comes the wife, ‘I want things my way’. You have lighted a fire that won’t be put out. Relationships only work when there is compromise. Relationships don’t thrive when someone is trying to dominate the other. You need to compromise. You need to tolerate. Whoever learns forbearance, I take oath by Allah that their life will be beautiful.
This has no relation with looks (beauty), gold, silver, jewelry (wealth). A beautiful character adorns life.
I remembered one hadith Saeed Khudri (rad) reported Prophet (saw) said “Save yourself from Khadra Damien”. Companions asked ” what is Khadra Damien?” Prophet (saw) replied ” Save yourself from characterless beautiful woman.” (Sunan Daraqutni)
(It means) do not fall for her beauty such that you sacrifice everything else. Or else life will be destroyed. Save yourself from ill character. Human being can tolerate hunger but will not tolerate ill speech.
[Above quoted hadith is very weak hadith. Scholars differ on use of weak hadith. Even if its not an authentic hadith it contains wisdom.
An authentic hadith that corroborates above is Prophet (saw) told us, ‘Women are married for four reasons: for their wealth, their status [lineage], their beauty, and for their religiousness. Make sure you get a really religious woman. Otherwise, may you come to misfortune!’ (Bukhari and Muslim) Scholars have inferred from this that this applies to both genders not just men.
Alluding to first hadith I have seen both genders forego reason when it comes to looks. Religion is least concern or they are so infatuated that they are blind to shortcomings of other person. Once the infatuation wears off and relationship is sour they go to religion to obtain their rights by then significant harm has already taken place.]
Chasing Looks & Foregoing reason
Excerpt from Tariq Jameel’s speeches. The foundation of a relationship is not based on looks and beauty, gold, silver, jewelry, or wealth. A beautiful character adorns life. I recollect one hadith:…
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