Another day being a Somali woman *sigh*

I went outside two times today and I never realized how much better I feel being away from home. I dread every minute i have to step through those doors. Having a narcissistic parent is so hard to deal with. I go through moments of feeling good and then it drops. I have lost some weight and it's still not good enough. Other people's daughters are better than us according to them. I don't get it. My siblings and I do everything for them like paying for the household bills, doing most of the cleaning etc. What more do they want. Everything in my life was controlled for so many years to the point I was hiding myself. I want to be confident and assertive. I want other people to notice this good energy not this depressive dark cloud over me. I want to make friends, find a life partner, and travel someday inshallah. I'm praying on this. I just want to find a support group for other Somalis dealing with this shit. I could use some resources. Caoi.
 
Try to find something you good at or a hobby and escape mentally. Please don't quit on your family. Make Dua for your parents so they see you and hear you. Also, please seek help for your depression before it gets out of control.
As a believer, you need patience and prayer in tough times. May Allah keep you steadfast.
 
white mans culture is what’s fucking everyone up. Lol

Parents have no choice but to try and adapt to the new culture which causes immense stress and trauma when they decided to make the leap of faith into an unknown environment.

they still probably are recovering from the stress of adapting , which takes its toll on the old and elderly.

There’s always 2 sides to a story , the op probably is telling one side of it and who knows what other factors are in play.

narcism ,bi polar , jittery in the legs and what not is all word play. Nabi Muhammad would prolly be considered a narcissist when he started gathering followers and conquered the Arabian sand dunes.

wallahu alam
Nabi muhammad was definitely a narcissist lmao.
 
How old are u? dip asap narcy parents are bad af.
In my early 20s. People are acting as if I haven't been patient for all these frickening years. I get why Somalis love to guilt trip people, but come on we all know how narcissism, emotional abuse is so common in our community. I'm so over dealing with my problems everyday. Changed a comment cause I don'y want it to be taken out of context.
 
Last edited:
Try to find something you good at or a hobby and escape mentally. Please don't quit on your family. Make Dua for your parents so they see you and hear you. Also, please seek help for your depression before it gets out of control.
As a believer, you need patience and prayer in tough times. May Allah keep you steadfast.
I understand that and thank you brother, but I have been patient for 20+ years and I've reached my breaking point. They already know I'm not happy and want to move out, but I can't afford it. I blew all of my money on food (binge eating).
 

Sheikh Google

Proud virtual father @Dwit,@Surre, @Baarisiyomoos
Poor girl came on here to vent and some of yous lot are attacking her. Sis life is short, I don't have the answer to all your troubles but what I will say is get your bread up so you are financially independent and they cant control you in that sense. Then take things step by step. You will then realise you have come a long way before you know it
 
Leave. Sis, the entire Somali community breeds nothing but psychopaths and narcissists, I am yet to ever come across a normal healthy human being who values themselves and values others within the Somali Community. Once you do show any sign of autonomy and independence, heck even if you make one choice for YOURSELF, be prepared for the backhanded comments, the curses, the curse words, be prepared for a smear campaign, be prepared to be maligned to others, be prepared to feel like your the absolute worst human on the plant because that's what they will do, they would rather kill you instead of seeing you embrace a self - an independant self that is not reliant on them. There is a nasty sickness within this community, a generational sickness that plagues the minds of Somali people. They do not actually see people as PEOPLE, as separate entities, in a Somali family, you are a tool, you're like a kitchen appliance, the moment you step away from behaving the way they want you to, the moment you display any autonomy and individuality, you are ostracised. Leave whilst you can and until you're able to do so, stonewall their nastiness, they feed of your attention, so don't give them any emotional responses (good and bad).


You want to know what the saddest thing about this is? They think this is normal. You will be gaslighted beyond measure to think and believe that you are the wrong one, that every damn thing that happens to them is YOUR fault. These people are sick, sick, sick, sick. They are never accountable for their own actions, this is why these nasty sick Somali narcissistic women breed 10+ kids and sit on their fat ass in grungy council flats gossiping about so so so, catching diabetes and other illnesses, and blaming their pathetic existence on the world. Then you have the psychopathic men who 9/10 are nothing but bums and drug dealers. Anyone, honestly, anyone with an ounce of actual sanity will see through the bullshit that is this community.


Leave whilst you can and run for the fucking hills. You will need it. Trust me.
 

xoxoboredgirl

somali ma aha dila dila
Leave. Sis, the entire Somali community breeds nothing but psychopaths and narcissists, I am yet to ever come across a normal healthy human being who values themselves and values others within the Somali Community. Once you do show any sign of autonomy and independence, heck even if you make one choice for YOURSELF, be prepared for the backhanded comments, the curses, the curse words, be prepared for a smear campaign, be prepared to be maligned to others, be prepared to feel like your the absolute worst human on the plant because that's what they will do, they would rather kill you instead of seeing you embrace a self - an independant self that is not reliant on them. There is a nasty sickness within this community, a generational sickness that plagues the minds of Somali people. They do not actually see people as PEOPLE, as separate entities, in a Somali family, you are a tool, you're like a kitchen appliance, the moment you step away from behaving the way they want you to, the moment you display any autonomy and individuality, you are ostracised. Leave whilst you can and until you're able to do so, stonewall their nastiness, they feed of your attention, so don't give them any emotional responses (good and bad).


You want to know what the saddest thing about this is? They think this is normal. You will be gaslighted beyond measure to think and believe that you are the wrong one, that every damn thing that happens to them is YOUR fault. These people are sick, sick, sick, sick. They are never accountable for their own actions, this is why these nasty sick Somali narcissistic women breed 10+ kids and sit on their fat ass in grungy council flats gossiping about so so so, catching diabetes and other illnesses, and blaming their pathetic existence on the world. Then you have the psychopathic men who 9/10 are nothing but bums and drug dealers. Anyone, honestly, anyone with an ounce of actual sanity will see through the bullshit that is this community.


Leave whilst you can and run for the fucking hills. You will need it. Trust me.
Joined today : “They are never accountable for their own actions, this is why these nasty sick Somali narcissistic women breed 10+ kids and sit on their fat ass in grungy council flats gossiping about so so so, catching diabetes and other illnesses, and blaming their pathetic existence on the world. Then you have the psychopathic men who 9/10 are nothing but bums and drug dealers.”

What a disgusting thing to say.
I’m not sure if you are Somali, but you need to sort yourself out because this sort of hate-filled diatribe is making you come across as a troubled individual and won’t help you in any way. I do feel sorry for you if you come from a selfish/evil or lazy family, but that is your experience, and you can’t generalise and blame that on your whole community. You are bringing up so many stereotypes; it’s false that all Somalis have a lot of children, and if you are Muslim, you would fear allah and not talk in such a way about your mother who brought you into this life and who jannah lies under her feet.

Your life is your choice, go and be with a someone who isn’t Somali/don’t be Muslim whatever since you feel so suffocated but heal, and don’t disparage all Somalis like we don’t have good people, like any other community.
 
I am Somali (unfortunately), and don't try and guilt trip me with religion to back up and justify the pathetic existence of most of these Somalis in the Western world and heck even in their own goddamned country. I am not just bringing up stereotypes, this is the actual reality, the majority if not all, and this can be seen and observed, am I being harsh and somewhat rude? yes, but I could not give a f*ck. The truth is often harsh, deal with it.

It's funny you mention that 'your life is your choice', no it fucking isn't, when you are born into these narcissistic family households, you are dead, the child is dead, dead before they are even born, and when I say 'dead' I don't mean it literally, I mean that they are brought into a dead family household where the actual people are 'dead', they have no sense of self, they are often failures, scroungers, abusers - physically and mentally (they ALL do it - all the past generations that have raised most of us), and they breed more abusers and more dead people into the world. They do not produce 'healthy' well-functioning adults because they themselves are not, and in that sense, most of us are really not to blame. Unless you're off the few that see the BS for what it is and choose to operate differently - which takes A LOT of re-winding and breaking down all the brainwashing you've had since your fucking childhood.

Narcissism is so inbred within this culture, and many other cultures too, and it's sickening. It's a generational curse that doesn't end unless you are aware of it.
 

xoxoboredgirl

somali ma aha dila dila
I am Somali (unfortunately), and don't try and guilt trip me with religion to back up and justify the pathetic existence of most of these Somalis in the Western world and heck even in their own goddamned country. I am not just bringing up stereotypes, this is the actual reality, the majority if not all, and this can be seen and observed, am I being harsh and somewhat rude? yes, but I could not give a f*ck. The truth is often harsh, deal with it.

It's funny you mention that 'your life is your choice', no it fucking isn't, when you are born into these narcissistic family households, you are dead, the child is dead, dead before they are even born, and when I say 'dead' I don't mean it literally, I mean that they are brought into a dead family household where the actual people are 'dead', they have no sense of self, they are often failures, scroungers, abusers - physically and mentally (they ALL do it - all the past generations that have raised most of us), and they breed more abusers and more dead people into the world. They do not produce 'healthy' well-functioning adults because they themselves are not, and in that sense, most of us are really not to blame. Unless you're off the few that see the BS for what it is and choose to operate differently - which takes A LOT of re-winding and breaking down all the brainwashing you've had since your fucking childhood.

Narcissism is so inbred within this culture, and many other cultures too, and it's sickening. It's a generational curse that doesn't end unless you are aware of it.
I’m not trying to guilt trip you, and when I say your life I mean when you become old enough to live the life you want, do so. We all know our culture has problems, but this isn’t the way to solve anything. It just seems like you’re ranting, but if it makes you feel better better, then go ahead. Not every Somali comes from a dysfunctional family who contribute nothing to society. Your opinion is valid, but I’m disagreeing.
 
I went outside two times today and I never realized how much better I feel being away from home. I dread every minute i have to step through those doors. Having a narcissistic parent is so hard to deal with. I go through moments of feeling good and then it drops. I have lost some weight and it's still not good enough. Other people's daughters are better than us according to them. I don't get it. My siblings and I do everything for them like paying for the household bills, doing most of the cleaning etc. What more do they want. Everything in my life was controlled for so many years to the point I was hiding myself. I want to be confident and assertive. I want other people to notice this good energy not this depressive dark cloud over me. I want to make friends, find a life partner, and travel someday inshallah. I'm praying on this. I just want to find a support group for other Somalis dealing with this shit. I could use some resources. Caoi.
They should feel lucky that you're not going and and getting pregnant and doing drugs and shit like the other Xaalimos
:mybusiness:
 
Leave. Sis, the entire Somali community breeds nothing but psychopaths and narcissists, I am yet to ever come across a normal healthy human being who values themselves and values others within the Somali Community. Once you do show any sign of autonomy and independence, heck even if you make one choice for YOURSELF, be prepared for the backhanded comments, the curses, the curse words, be prepared for a smear campaign, be prepared to be maligned to others, be prepared to feel like your the absolute worst human on the plant because that's what they will do, they would rather kill you instead of seeing you embrace a self - an independant self that is not reliant on them. There is a nasty sickness within this community, a generational sickness that plagues the minds of Somali people. They do not actually see people as PEOPLE, as separate entities, in a Somali family, you are a tool, you're like a kitchen appliance, the moment you step away from behaving the way they want you to, the moment you display any autonomy and individuality, you are ostracised. Leave whilst you can and until you're able to do so, stonewall their nastiness, they feed of your attention, so don't give them any emotional responses (good and bad).


You want to know what the saddest thing about this is? They think this is normal. You will be gaslighted beyond measure to think and believe that you are the wrong one, that every damn thing that happens to them is YOUR fault. These people are sick, sick, sick, sick. They are never accountable for their own actions, this is why these nasty sick Somali narcissistic women breed 10+ kids and sit on their fat ass in grungy council flats gossiping about so so so, catching diabetes and other illnesses, and blaming their pathetic existence on the world. Then you have the psychopathic men who 9/10 are nothing but bums and drug dealers. Anyone, honestly, anyone with an ounce of actual sanity will see through the bullshit that is this community.


Leave whilst you can and run for the fucking hills. You will need it. Trust me.
Thanks for at least empathizing with me and keeping it real. I have been met with threats all for trying to establish my own autonomy. I feel so stunted and lost as an adult. Since I made this post I had good days and bad days, but mainly bad. I haven't been sleeping much these past few days cause I have so many anxiety attacks. I know i will have to deal with this until I leave, but I don't even have enough money to do that. Just praying for a miracle at this point even though I barely practice islam now, but my beliefs are intact. I have stopped caring about my own deen now I feel ashamed, but I'm depressed and struggling. I wish our community could be more open and less stigma so I could get help from y'all, but no I'm "caasi" according to these people lol. It is what it is tho. And wallahi sis I stopped caring about what Somalis think of me online or offline and stopped fighting or defending our community. I'm over this "We are one" kumbaya. All the gaslighting and deen weaponizing is too much for me. I'm just focusing on myself from now on.
 

Trending

Latest posts

Top