Advice needed

[Abdisamad]

I am flirting heavily with this xalimo who's living in Garowe.. She's even calling me boqor each time I complement her beauty.. Anyways should I go full in with the shukansi or I'm I walking straight into a trap.. I'm very hesitant guys.. What would you do in my situation?

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Abdisamad]

Getting a wife back home and living in the west, would that even work with such a big distance and beside the small differences in culture me being a diaspora and her being fully grown and raised in Somalia...

 

[Chase]

Getting a wife back home and living in the west, would that even work with such a big distance and beside the small differences in culture me being a diaspora and her being fully grown and raised in Somalia...

This is why I can't marry a girl from back home, she won't get me, and having two parents who know the ins and outs of manuevering through the west is better for the kids since you can relate to their experiences

 

[Abdisamad]

This is why I can't marry a girl from back home, she won't get me, and having two parents who know the ins and outs of manuevering through the west is better for the kids since you can relate to their experiences

Makes since.. But this xalimo in Somalia is a qalanjo.. Sometimes I contemplate to leave the west and relocate to the mother land,

 

[__08]

Makes since.. But this xalimo in Somalia is a qalanjo.. Sometimes I contemplate to leave the west and relocate to the mother land,

Do it! And build Somalia up let’s go!

 

[Chase]

Makes since.. But this xalimo in Somalia is a qalanjo.. Sometimes I contemplate to leave the west and relocate to the mother land,

That's a choice you're going to have to make, I don't know about this Xalimo, maybe she's a gold digger who's looking for a escape plan, or maybe she's a miskeen. There are cases where they come to West then bounce, it's a risky endeavour ngl

 

[Cajiib]

This is why I can't marry a girl from back home, she won't get me, and having two parents who know the ins and outs of manuevering through the west is better for the kids since you can relate to their experiences

Maa shaa Allah you’re thinking long-term about how your choice of a mother impacts your future caruur. That’s refreshing.

 

[Abdisamad]

Maa shaa Allah you’re thinking long-term about how your choice of a mother impacts your future caruur. That’s refreshing.

Most sane men think of this

 

[Cajiib]

That's a choice you're going to have to make, I don't know about this Xalimo, maybe she's a gold digger who's looking for a escape plan, or maybe she's a miskeen. There are cases where they come to West then bounce, it's a risky endeavour ngl

Forget about dumar. I know of a man who did this. This is an easier hustle for them to do than tahriib to get here, I guess.

 

[Cajiib]

Most sane men think of this

I understand that. I just saw a lot of people on this site in support of doing the opposite. I may have unfairly judged all on here.

 

[Abdisamad]

I understand that. I just saw a lot of people on this site in support of doing the opposite. I may have unfairly judged all on here.

Thats why I wrote any sane man.. Maybe some guys are immature or stupid if they don't think long term when they're looking for the future mother of their kids.

 

[Abdisamad]

@Cajiib

What would you look for in your future wife?

 

[Cajiib]

Sorry to disappoint but I’m not a brother.

 

[Shimbiris]

Makes since.. But this xalimo in Somalia is a qalanjo.. Sometimes I contemplate to leave the west and relocate to the mother land,

That's a choice you're going to have to make, I don't know about this Xalimo, maybe she's a gold digger who's looking for a escape plan, or maybe she's a miskeen. There are cases where they come to West then bounce, it's a risky endeavour ngl

Easiest way to gauge her intentions are to deadpan tell her you want to move to the motherland and settle there and have no intentions of living in the west anymore. If she's still interested then you have your answer. This won't mean that she isn't in part interested in you for your lacag but let's be real, no one can blame her for wanting a partner who can provide a good quality of life. What I'd be shifty about if I were you is whether or not she just wants to use you as a ticket into the west. Cos once she gets there and is solidly there she can just leave you high and dry.

 

[Abdisamad]

Sorry to disappoint but I’m not a brother.

You're a girl, I thought you was a guy sorry

 

[Cajiib]

You're a girl, I thought you was a guy sorry

You’re good. Easy to assume I am. I try to be as neutral as I can be when it comes to both groups.

 

[Chase]

Easiest way to gauge her intentions are to deadpan tell her you want to move to the motherland and settle there and have no intentions of living in the west anymore. If she's still interested then you have your answer. This won't mean that she isn't in part interested in you for your lacag but let's be real, no one can blame her for wanting a partner who can provide a good quality of life. What I'd be shifty about if I were you is whether or not she just wants to use you as a ticket into the west. Cos once she gets there and is solidly there she can just leave you high and dry.

The ones that scare me the most are those who initially like you in the first few years of marriage, then get bored and ditch you. I've seen complaints from every Muslim group residing in the west when it comes to marrying back home and bringing a spouse over, tragedy.

 

[mrlog]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Unbothered]

Long distance marriage khayr meleh. You have to visit them once or twice a year, take a break from work and lose income. Plus you can’t tell if this person is using you because they can act maskin and fake it until you bring them to the west and then bounce once they get sharci and cayr.