A man who has been previously married

[Sumaaya]

Girls, would you consider getting to know a man who was previously married and his kids?

 

[AishaBarri]

Depends on how many kids, what was the reason for divorce, how many times has he been divorced, kids from different moms? I would have to know the full story

 

[Bronco]

Depends on how many kids, what was the reason for divorce, how many times has he been divorced, kids from different moms? I would have to know the full story

So the answer is yes

 

[Finesse]

You have to think about a lot of things

1. MONEY
How can he afford two households on one salary? Think about it, he has to pay child support and also provide for you and your future children.
Where will his children sleep when they come to your house? You have to have bedrooms ready for them at all times.

2. TIME
His children will be around so you will have to play Mama, don't believe anything he says about "you don't have to do anything"
You will have to cook/clean for his children when they come

3. STRESS/DRAMA
The ex, why did he get divorced, don't just believe him, research the reason.
His ex will always find out things about you/your household as the children will report back

 

[Hali]

No
Too much emotional baggage

 

[AishaBarri]

So the answer is yes

Just a maybe. Leaning towards no but maybe yes

 

[Finesse]

@AishaBarri

Girls, don't do it unless he's wealthy and his ex has moved on (new husband) and they have a good co-parenting relationship.

 

[AishaBarri]

@AishaBarri

Girls, don't do it unless he's wealthy and his ex has moved on (new husband) and they have a good co-parenting relationship.

My fear would be if he left one family what makes me think he’ll stay forever

 

[Jungle]

You have to think about a lot of things

1. MONEY
How can he afford two households on one salary? Think about it, he has to pay child support and also provide for you and your future children.
Where will his children sleep when they come to your house? You have to have bedrooms ready for them at all times.

2. TIME
His children will be around so you will have to play Mama, don't believe anything he says about "you don't have to do anything"
You will have to cook/clean for his children when they come

3. STRESS/DRAMA
The ex, why did he get divorced, don't just believe him, research the reason.
His ex will always find out things about you/your household as the children will report back

Definetly overthinking here.

 

[Finesse]

My fear would be if he left one family what makes me think he’ll stay forever

Another major concern.

I don't trust divorcee men who didn't try every avenue on earth to stick to their woman and child/ren.

 

[Finesse]

Definetly overthinking here.

No. Pretty basic thinking actually.

Marriage is not just the wedding and honeymoon phase. It's filled with daily, mundane things such as carrying out chores and lounging around the house. Now it's not just the two of you, it's also his children who need food, help with homework etc, etc.

 

[BlackJack]

Only if he’s wealthy, I am not becoming a step mother to the kids of some broke guy.

 

[Hali]

Actually divorce men can sometimes be maturer the second time round
But some are just calaacaling after and Hate women
You need to know which one he is
The latter is more common

 

[Finesse]

Girls, remember, it's you who will spend most time at home and with his children whilst he's at work. You have to give 100% to his children and then run the risk of an overbearing ex wife who can become jealous of you playing "hooyo".

 

[Bronco]

No
Too much emotional baggage

Somali guys barely function emotionally and you want to tell me they're bringing too much emotional baggage to table

This is thinly veiled sexism and I'm not here for it

 

[Finesse]

Actually divorce men can sometimes be maturer the second time round
But some are just calaacaling after and Hate women
You need to know which one he is
The latter is more common

Yep and you also have the bitter ones who didn't go to therapy and heal after their divorce, they just quickly run after another woman.

 

[Hali]

Girls, remember, it's you who will spend most time at home and with his children whilst he's at work. You have to give 100% to his children and then run the risk of an overbearing ex wife who can become jealous of you playing "hooyo".

That’s if he even wants his kids

 

[Finesse]

Somali guys barely function emotionally and you want to tell me they're bringing too much emotional baggage to table

This is thinly veiled sexism and I'm not here for it

If a man doesn't function emotionally, that's the ultimate meaning of "baggage".
A man who is emotionally constipated is damaged and needs therapy and to heal from inside.

 

[Hali]

Somali guys barely function emotionally and you want to tell me they're bringing too much emotional baggage to table

This is thinly veiled sexism and I'm not here for it

They’re bitter
Because they believe they’ve been done dirty

 

[Phiirso]

You have to think about a lot of things

1. MONEY
How can he afford two households on one salary? Think about it, he has to pay child support and also provide for you and your future children.
Where will his children sleep when they come to your house? You have to have bedrooms ready for them at all times.

2. TIME
His children will be around so you will have to play Mama, don't believe anything he says about "you don't have to do anything"
You will have to cook/clean for his children when they come

3. STRESS/DRAMA
The ex, why did he get divorced, don't just believe him, research the reason.
His ex will always find out things about you/your household as the children will report back

@Sumaaya this is boring

Yolo newcomer