How To Satisfy Your Woman

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>Left by a 200lb 55 year old woman for a man 15 years his senior
>Doesn't question what life choices he must have made to get himself into a situation like that
>Is vilified by the possible rumour that this younger man does not give her deep tissue massages

This better be a fucking joke :drakelaugh:
This whole thing reads like a damn copypasta, bismillah
The f*ck you laughing at son? This is grownup talk. Kneel and kiss the ring.
 
Looks like your IQ is going through a bidaar too, or you're being intentionally retarded :drakelaugh:
I'm intellectually barefoot, but my IQ is not unadorned with follicles.

All I know is that there's altogether too much sapphic adventures here for my liking. Muff diving is not for xalimos.
 
I used to do this for my girlfriend before she slammed the door on my dark as coal face and left town for a guy 17 years my junior. I was more shocked than hurt given that she was fifty five then and he was a spring chicken. I had to admire the old hag. She may have radiated from every pore, but the girl had hustle. I heard on the grapevine that her new BF does not give her deep tissue massages. I called to say mac sonkor, but the old gal had blocked my number. That's when I concluded women are evil.

Anyway, this is how to please these she-devils if you want to be a uxorious husband. I don't know what that word means to be honest because I'm still in the first year of my ESL class, and I failed my end of year exam for the second consecutive time but the macalin told me it's something good.


@Reiko, @sophisticate, @The Cushitic One , @TooMacaan, @Hades, @Lola_Vonroe, @Shamis, @VixR, @Asma, @EternalLightX, back me up on this.


You’ve actually become my favourite person on here. You are soooooooooo hilarious!!!
 
You’ve actually become my favourite person on here. You are soooooooooo hilarious!!!
It's not meant to be funny to be honest. It was a painful time for me. She was the only long-term bedmate I had, and I didn't even have to pay her. I think it's a bit insensitive of you to laugh at my sorrow.

Horta, what's up with your name abaayo. Magac Somali maxaa ku diide? Jirkaadi maa cadayse sidii adoonka la orodo Michael Jackson? War ileen anakaa yaabne.
 
Satisfing your women is a waste of time finish and get out of there, no one has got time for the complicated female body
Alpha male right here folks. I suspect the first woman he's ever been with will be his omega.

Did you get that Pearl of wisdom from Adolf? Or was it of your own designing?
 
Respect Thai yoga massage you little wench. Got mad love for Thais. Buddhists are big on meditation and bodily relaxation so not surprised by their ingenuity. They've turned raaxo into an art form. Our brother @offensive bias is a regular traveller to Thailand with his Israeli buddies during their vacation from national service in the West Bank. Maybe he can tell us more about this arcane discipline.

Waryaa why you talking about me while I'm away.
Nothing wrong with massage I have a regular massues, I am not ashamed because nothing wierd like happy ending is involved just a really talented one. Even indulged my father and my wife.
Ive picked up some of the art as well, trust me there is nothing better than a massage. To break the ice and lead to good sex. Trust me try it.
 
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