Being submissive to your husband.

RICH

The Qadr of Allaah ta’aala is always in our favor.
Welcome back Hodan. we havent spoke in ages. what you being up to ?
any plan on visiting borama this summer ?

Summer holidays started, so that means I got more time! Work has kept me very busy alhamdulilaah. Nah, not going to SL this summer. This year I’m treating myself with an all inclusive resort. Wbu?
 

Gibiin-Udug

Crowned Queen of Puntland. Supporter of PuntExit
I don’t think that there nothing wrong with being submissive to your husband. If he is a god fearing person, he wouldn’t abuse his role as a leader of the family. Your husband will cater to you if you show him the respect. The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck :mjpls:
A Somali man will abuse that privilege.
 

Mercury

Ha igu daalinee dantaada raac
VIP
I think stereotypes like this are stupid

Why not just have an equal relationship, where you both respect each other and work together as a team

You treat her like your Queen and she Will treat you like a King
 

Tucking_Fypo

سلطنة مجرتين
VIP
Every elder whether they're women or men always tell newlyweds that the wife should be submissive. For what? Why does she have to be submissive for their husbands? Why can't he treat her like a Queen, his Queen. Imagine being submissive to men like @R.Kelly @Ferrari or @Abdalla they will totally walk all over you, and eventually break your spirits and make you go mental because that's how men are.


@Knowles how should we change this mindset that our elders have?

For reals @Abdalla is like that:what1:
 
I think stereotypes like this are stupid

Why not just have an equal relationship, where you both respect each other and work together as a team

You treat her like your Queen and she Will treat you like a King
Because that isn't thread material.
 
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Sophisticate

~Gallantly Gadabuursi~
Staff Member
Being submissive to your husband doesn't mean you can't be yourself or have any freedom. It just means you trust and accept him as your leader, protector and provider. You're making him feel manly by obeying him and treating him like a king. What's wrong with that?

There is a lot of misconception about submissive women. Truly submissive women are strong women, not weak women. The so called "independent" ones are actually the weak ones because they are insecure since feminism brainwashed them.

:farmajoyaab: Everyone is insecure, vulnerable and will crack under the right circumstances.

The docile woman you speak of can also be weak. She can have misgivings that she holds on to forever, be addicted to periodic buuq (without just cause) and displace internalized rage and disappointment on to her kids.
:yacadiim:
 

Sophisticate

~Gallantly Gadabuursi~
Staff Member
Interesting advice. I remember pondering on the following sentence in a book once:
As far as I'm aware, this is the only place where the phrase "treacherous verisimilitude" was ever used.

Digging up this quote I've now learned the author actually went on to win a Pulitzer for another novel...

Those words don't seem like they would be readily paired in a sentence.:farmajoyaab:Interesting stylistic choice.

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If my futur husband is as clever, good looking and rich as Harvey specter, I will accept him as the leader and will iron his suits happily.

The minute you take him as your husband you are expected to take him as your leader. Your conditions mean jack. Otherwise dont marry him
 
Those words don't seem like they would be readily paired in a sentence.:farmajoyaab:Interesting stylistic choice.

Marginalia... never knew there was a word for that! I think more can be learned from a single book read with that technique or similar approaches than a dozen read passively. I like complex writing styles as long as it's done by the right author. (It's done right by classical English novelists, and butchered by postmodernists who just do it for the sake of it).
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Sophisticate

~Gallantly Gadabuursi~
Staff Member
Marginalia... never knew there was a word for that! I think more can be learned from a single book read with that technique or similar approaches than a dozen read passively. I like complex writing styles as long as it's done by the right author. (It's done right by classical English novelists, and butchered by postmodernists who just do it for the sake of it).
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You'd be surprised. There is a word for nearly everything. I agree the only obstacle to using this approach is fear of defiling a book. Some people are very nitpicky about making sure every corner is crisp and the book is left unaltered. I mean if that approach doesn't work one could always use a separate piece of paper.

I used to create a word list as well. It's lovely. For those looking to expand there vocab, I have a multitude of resources. It's all about the root/origin of words encapsulated in the form of stories along with their multiple associations.

I'm very fond of mindmaps. They essentially allow the mind to think as it normally does - laterally with multiple associations written on a landscape white page (utilizing single words per branch with curvilinear nodes attached to other words which can go on forever). It's another enhanced learning technique that boosts creativity and to some degree intellect. You can use it for everything from writing a book/dissertation, solving a personal dilemma, business solutions, note-taking, personal development and the like.

This is what you call thread derailment.

One last thing, you mentioned the comparison between classic English novelists and their contemporaries. Do you mind posting an exert as an example? I'd like to see this.

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There is usually a natural hierarchy in the household. The man who provides will shelter and protect the woman and their children.
The problem comes when the man is not the bread winner. He has to accept he's equal to the woman especially when they haven't have children yet. This doesn't happen if you have inate leadership abilities, or just physical dominance. The woman voluntarily becomes submissive.

The problem really is when men who aren't breadwinners, who aren't physically bigger and don't have the classic masculine traits (being of tall stature, more athletic/muscular body composition) FORCE a woman who doesn't feel inferior to the man, to bow down.

So if you're 5ft 6, chubby and ugly with 20k a year salary and a wife you support with welfare/benefits from the government, don't be surprised if the woman isn't submissive.
 
If you're 6ft 3, athletic, handsome with 75k+ salary with natural alpha behaviour traits you don't even need to ask or force your woman to be submissive. She will be. It's in her nature to be submissive to you.
 
If you're 6ft 3, athletic, handsome with 75k+ salary with natural alpha behaviour traits you don't even need to ask or force your woman to be submissive. She will be. It's in her nature to be submissive to you.

I dont know why being submissive is so important to y'all. Its creepy. My mum is not submissive and my dad would never want her to be. And he is tall, earn more money than he can spend etc everything you said. They both have responsibilities. My dad takes care of the financial stuff. My mum the education of the kids and manages also the money with him. They don't fight for power but they complete each other. They are a team and can rely on each other's support. It's all about respect and making things work. Final decision belongs to me dad because he is the one paying for everything but he agrees with my mum so he doesn't go against her. Tbh I think we have had a very disciplined childhood because my parents were an unbeatable team. We could never mess with them.
 
I dont know why being submissive is so important to y'all. Its creepy. My mum is not submissive and my dad would never want her to be. And he is tall, earn more money than he can spend etc everything you said. They both have responsibilities. My dad takes care of the financial stuff. My mum the education of the kids and manages also the money with him. They don't fight for power but they complete each other. They are a team and can rely on each other's support. It's all about respect and making things work. Final decision belongs to me dad because he is the one paying for everything but he agrees with my mum so he doesn't go against her. Tbh I think we have had a very disciplined childhood because my parents were an unbeatable team. We could never mess with them.
Your parents are an example of the natural relationship between husband and wife. Nothing is forced at all. When I say submissive, I don't mean that your father shouts down at your mother. That doesn't happen in your family because the couple is stable. They both play their roles. Ideal. Mashallah. And inshallah we all have the marriage your parents have
 

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