Women don’t want good men

VixR said:

Nope. Any woman who has a healthy self-esteem will not consistently date losers and bums.

The stark truth: bums and losers are the mean for them. Most of their men, or a good majority of them, are bums and losers.

Any time that happens, dating losers and bums becomes normalized, bc there are very few good men in their community and that’s what they’re used to. Instead of dating freely, they’ve put up with the mediocrity of their dating pool.

That’s starting to happen to Somalis, frankly. If you only date the good ones and out, it’ll self correct, but they accept mediocrity and quickly divorce and end up raising kids alone, so we definitely mirror them on that and absent fathers (in Somalia it was high divorce rate too, but it wasn’t as dire not to have a father figure there as it is here)

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They have no choice for upward mobility due to extreme low-self-esteem issues which comes as a result of not looking after themselves physically, psychologically and emotionally like other women.

They are just as bad if not worse then the bums they seek out, that bum is in exactly the same predicament as her having no other choices.

But the moment things change for him, he goes after better quality women then those he was accustomed to.

But things very rarely change for AA/Somali women, they mostly have fixed mind-sets rather then a growth mind-set, which sets them on a default path of slow gradual deterioration.

No one else wants them as a result, especially foreigners that have an abundance of quality women that are feminine, petite, look after themselves and don't all come from broken homes to choose from.

It's only the extreme losers in that group which Xaalimo's always end up with as a result of life-time neglect of themselves.

Even the AA women end up with better Non AA males then your average fat obese Xaalimo.

Inquisitive_ said:

They have no choice for upward mobility due to extreme low-self-esteem issues which comes as a result of not looking after themselves physically, psychologically and emotionally like other women.

They are just as bad if not worse then the bums they seek out, that bum is in exactly the same predicament as her having no other choices.

But the moment things change for him, he goes after better quality women then those he was accustomed to.

But things very rarely change for AA/Somali women, they mostly have fixed mind-sets rather then a growth mind-set, which sets them on a default path of slow gradual deterioration.

No one else wants them as a result, especially foreigners that have an abundance of quality women that are feminine, petite, look after themselves and don't all come from broken homes to choose from.

It's only the extreme losers in that group which Xaalimo's always end up with as a result of life-time neglect of themselves.

Even the AA women end up with better Non AA males then your average fat obese Xaalimo.

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There’s a pervasive bum culture in the AA community. Similarly, that’s starting to be the case for Somalis too. There’s actually a lot of unfortunate parallels between jarrers and Somalis, much as this forum denigrates them.

It’s very hard to find a decent, hardworking, Somali guy. Many of them are caught up with the law, or have no drive in making something of themselves. Despite this, too many Somali women settle for low quality Somali guys, out of IDK what, and they get surprised when it blows up. My sister uses this phrase “low expectation life” to describe the problem. They’re becoming acclimated to reality on the ground, such as the AA woman has acclimated over the years to mediocrity of their dating pool.

There’s the phenomenon of some Somali girls who’s fathers were bums, having “low expectation life” syndrome and accepting bums and any qashin, running away from Somali guys only to prove that they’re still a product of their environment, and it’s the Somali they ran from in camo, the same archetype.

But any girl, who had a family worth a damn will either be forced to find the needle in haystack, or look outside that haystack. That’s just a matter of fact.

VixR said:

It’s very hard to find a decent, hardworking, Somali guy. Many of them are caught up with the law, or have no drive in making something of themselves.

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Here in the UK at least, I come across way more qualified Somali male's then I do Xaalimo's.

Despite the fact that being a good qualified women is far easier then being a good qualified male, because the latter requires a lot more effort and sacrifices to achieve then the former.

Males don't care about your education, profession, job status, bank balance, whether you have a car or home etc. in fact if anything, these things could potentially work against you with some.

The problem with our Xaalimo her in the UK is two folds, the most critical part is they don't look after themselves, majority of them are fat or obese in the UK which automatically rules them out.

A fat or obese women that doesn't respect her own body and health will not respect anyone else, it's amazing how much money they spend on make-up, skin products, clothes, bags, spa's & perfumes etc

But yet neglect the greatest, most visible and most attractive part of themselves (body), our women are not designed to carry weight, when they are slim and slender, they look the very best.

The second problem is that most of them have adopted the banshee AA loud masculine unladylike foul characteristics to go along with the obesity, the worst toxic combination you could ever find.

Despite this, too many Somali women settle for low quality Somali guys, out of IDK what, and they get surprised when it blows up. My sister uses this phrase “low expectation life” to describe the problem. They’re becoming acclimated to reality on the ground, such as the AA woman has acclimated over the years to mediocrity of their dating pool.

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Low quality seeks low quality, no need to make excuses for them, if they had the choice of quality, they would seek quality like all other women with choices do.

Hypergamy is the default biological disposition in women and the only reason it's not practised by most Xaalimo's, is because no one of any quality wants them.

They have a low self esteem due to decades of self-neglect, I do not know of any ethnic community in the UK that has such overwhelming numbers of obesity then the Xaalimo's

I kid you not, on the rare occasions I do see a slim Xaalimo despite the fact she is below average looking, she instantly becomes a star, that's how bad things are in the UK.

But any girl, who had a family worth a damn will either be forced to find the needle in haystack, or look outside that haystack. That’s just a matter of fact.

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Any girl that has looked after herself physically, emotionally and psychologically has plenty of choices, she never needs to settle.

If that woman has any intelligence to go with all of this (very rare). She could easily expedite this process by going to the right spots and locations.

The dumb Xaalimo's in the UK do the complete opposite, they fetch their husbands in Shiisha places, a place were the worst of the worst congregate especially when it comes to males.

Inquisitive_ said:

Here in the UK at least, I come across way more qualified Somali male's then I do Xaalimo's.

Despite the fact that being a good qualified women is far easier then being a good qualified male, because the latter requires a lot more effort and sacrifices to achieve then the former.

Males don't care about your education, profession, job status, bank balance, whether you have a car or home etc. in fact if anything, these things could potentially work against you with some.

The problem with our Xaalimo her in the UK is two folds, the most critical part is they don't look after themselves, majority of them are fat or obese in the UK which automatically rules them out.

A fat or obese women that doesn't respect her own body and health will not respect anyone else, it's amazing how much money they spend on make-up, skin products, clothes, bags, spa's & perfumes etc

But yet neglect the greatest, most visible and most attractive part of themselves (body), our women are not designed to carry weight, when they are slim and slender, they look the very best.

The second problem is that most of them have adopted the banshee AA loud masculine unladylike foul characteristics to go along with the obesity, the worst toxic combination you could ever find.





Low quality seeks low quality, no need to make excuses for them, if they had the choice of quality, they would seek quality like all other women with choices do.

Hypergamy is the default biological disposition in women and the only reason it's not practised by most Xaalimo's, is because no one of any quality wants them.

They have a low self esteem due to decades of self-neglect, I do not know of any ethnic community in the UK that has such overwhelming numbers of obesity then the Xaalimo's

I kid you not, on the rare occasions I do see a slim Xaalimo despite the fact she is below average looking, she instantly becomes a star, that's how bad things are in the UK.




Any girl that has looked after herself physically, emotionally and psychologically has plenty of choices, she never needs to settle.

If the women has any intelligence to go with all of this (very rare). She could easily expedite this process by going to the right spots and locations.

The dumb Xaalimo's in the UK do the complete opposite, they fetch their husbands in Shiisha places, a place were the worst of the worst congregate especially when it comes to males.

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Self neglect and spa/makeup/clothes/perfume in the same post is a clear contradiction.

Idk about fat, that’s certainly not the norm as I see it here.

And I’ve seen too many interracial marriages even among the most conservative of them (typically to Arabs) to buy what you’re selling on their not being desirable. I’ve certainly never had that problem.

The fact of the matter is, the majority of Somali women, are conservative, hijabi, slim women, and there’s a huge disparity between how they turned out and how Somali men in the West turned out. At least here. A Somali guy has a much easier time of finding someone suitable.

The convention of the typical Somali family is to hitch every loser with a wife, only to breed more losers.

And you’re wrong about settling not being a huge issue, when the average one is lost, and you want a Somali guy, the fact of the matter is most will end up settling for the best they can get, staying single too long out of religious conviction, or opt out. As of now, most of them settle, some marry out, and others luck out.

Somali women who were raised in the ghetto and “scream like banshees” are indistinguishable from their male Somali counterparts (and Somalis are incredibly loud to begin with).

VixR said:

Self neglect and spa/makeup/clothes/perfume in the same post is a clear contradiction.

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It will sound like one unless you live in the UK, and btw this is not the majority of them because they happen to be too broke for all of that, this is referring to the few that work and don't leech of others.

You missed the great irony in all of this, what good is all of that if your a 300 pound beluga whale? why not invest in a personal trainer or a nutritionist instead?

Idk about fat, that’s certainly not the norm as I see it here.

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It's the absolute norm her, go and speak to any UK chap, it's an absolute pandemic. It wasn't the case 10+ years ago.

I can't speak for Canada or America.

And I’ve seen too many interracial marriages even among the most conservative of them (typically to Arabs) to buy what you’re selling on their not being desirable.

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Every interracial marriage I have seen in the UK it's always with either a jail bird, ex-con, a dude with missing chromosomes and generally the losers of that race who can't get with their own.

I don't consider Barwani's or the rest of the Xamar Cad Cad in the same class as Xaalimo's, those women have far more class, intelligence and come from far better families then the typical Xaalimo.

I have seen those women married to Arab's, but that's only because the father couldn't find a cousin for her, and his Arab cousins are closer to him then the dysfunctional Somali's they look down on.

The fact of the matter is, the majority of Somali women, are conservative, hijabi, slim women, and there’s a huge disparity between how they turned out and how Somali men in the West turned out.

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Maybe in America which I still find hard to believe based on what I see, but her in the UK, Xaalimo's only become conservation 30+, wearing Hijab doesn't = conservative, it's the norm here.

The low quality male is more visible then the low quality female, despite the fact it takes more to be a quality male then it takes to be a quality female.

The reason why so many of our male's are in jail or gangs is as a result of the mothers kicking the fathers out.

Male's from broken homes get involved in gang's while the female's get involved in other types of degeneracies, both end up marrying each other producing more filth.

And you’re wrong about settling not being a huge issue, when the average one is lost, and you’re want a Somali guy, the fact is most will end up settling, staying single too long out of religious conviction, or opt out. As of now, most of them settle, and some marry out, and others luck out.

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Yes most low quality ones will seek out their counterparts, this is the law of attraction in force.

Inquisitive_ said:

Here in the UK at least, I come across way more qualified Somali male's then I do Xaalimo's.

Despite the fact that being a good qualified women is far easier then being a good qualified male, because the latter requires a lot more effort and sacrifices to achieve then the former.

Males don't care about your education, profession, job status, bank balance, whether you have a car or home etc. in fact if anything, these things could potentially work against you with some.

The problem with our Xaalimo her in the UK is two folds, the most critical part is they don't look after themselves, majority of them are fat or obese in the UK which automatically rules them out.

A fat or obese women that doesn't respect her own body and health will not respect anyone else, it's amazing how much money they spend on make-up, skin products, clothes, bags, spa's & perfumes etc

But yet neglect the greatest, most visible and most attractive part of themselves (body), our women are not designed to carry weight, when they are slim and slender, they look the very best.

The second problem is that most of them have adopted the banshee AA loud masculine unladylike foul characteristics to go along with the obesity, the worst toxic combination you could ever find.





Low quality seeks low quality, no need to make excuses for them, if they had the choice of quality, they would seek quality like all other women with choices do.

Hypergamy is the default biological disposition in women and the only reason it's not practised by most Xaalimo's, is because no one of any quality wants them.

They have a low self esteem due to decades of self-neglect, I do not know of any ethnic community in the UK that has such overwhelming numbers of obesity then the Xaalimo's

I kid you not, on the rare occasions I do see a slim Xaalimo despite the fact she is below average looking, she instantly becomes a star, that's how bad things are in the UK.




Any girl that has looked after herself physically, emotionally and psychologically has plenty of choices, she never needs to settle.

If that woman has any intelligence to go with all of this (very rare). She could easily expedite this process by going to the right spots and locations.

The dumb Xaalimo's in the UK do the complete opposite, they fetch their husbands in Shiisha places, a place were the worst of the worst congregate especially when it comes to males.

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You're obviously lying and you feel the need to blame Somali mothers.

It is a fact that Somali women outperform men in terms of grades and jobs.

Here in the UK, we have a big problem of Somali boys entering gangs, getting criminal records and being imprisoned.

Both statistics and anecdotes prove this.

You keep on mentioning law of attraction. You do know that who we marry isn't a reflection of us.

Those more pious and have been granted Jannah have ended up marrying cursed tyrants.

You're an unmarried man, you have no idea how the woman you are going to marry might be.

Just make dua Allah blesses you with a pious wife. Law of attraction is not an islamic concept nor does it make sense.

Inquisitive_ said:

It will sound like one unless you live in the UK, and btw this is not the majority of them because they happen to be too broke for all of that, this is referring to the few that work and don't leech of others.

You missed the great irony in all of this, what good is all of that if your a 300 pound beluga whale? why not invest in a personal trainer or a nutritionist instead?


It's the absolute norm her, go and speak to any UK chap, it's an absolute pandemic. It wasn't the case 10+ years ago.

I can't speak for Canada or America.


Every interracial marriage I have seen in the UK it's always with either a jail bird, ex-con, a dude with missing chromosomes and generally the losers of that race who can't get with their own.

I don't consider Barwani's or the rest of the Xamar Cad Cad in the same class as Xaalimo's, those women have far more class, intelligence and come from far better families then the typical Xaalimo.

I have seen those women married to Arab's, but that's only because the father couldn't find a cousin for her, and his Arab cousins are closer to him then the dysfunctional Somali's they look down on.


Maybe in America which I still find hard to believe based on what I see, but her in the UK, Xaalimo's only become conservation 30+, wearing Hijab doesn't = conservative, it's the norm here.

The low quality male is more visible then the low quality female, despite the fact it takes more to be a quality male then it takes to be a quality female.

The reason why so many of our male's are in jail or gangs is as a result of the mothers kicking the fathers out.

Male's from broken homes get involved in gang's while the female's get involved in other types of degeneracies, both end up marrying each other producing more filth.

Yes most low quality ones will seek out their counterparts, this is the law of attraction in force.

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I’m not talking about Barawanis. I’m talking about Somalis.

Low quality males are more visible bc they’re more plentiful. There’s just no arguing that. I’m a honest personality, this is a matter of fact, not one of insult.

Somali women don’t keep Somali men from their kids when they divorce, at least not conventionally. And they con the govt as a team. A lot of them turn shit bc they’re raised in the ghetto on caydh on the decision of their conning parents, and then when their parents eventually divorce, their 6 kids are lost to the environment, and shit Somali parenting skills

VixR said:

I’m not talking about Barawanis. I’m talking about Somalis.

They’re (low quality males) more visible bc they’re more plentiful.

Somali women don’t keep Somali men from their kids when they divorce, at least not conventionally. And they con the govt as a team.

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There's no point with him as he likes to deflect and blame Somali women for most of the ills of the community.

Somali women are obviously not angels, yet many of the issues we have is due to men not taking their roles as fathers seriously, yet magically Somali women are the problem.The only real issue I have with Somali women especially the older generation is that I feel they are enablers at times.

Things will not change as many of the guys are too busy pointing the finger at the women in their community, rather than having an honest discussion as to why things are the way they are.

Deep down they know what the reality is, but they would rather sweep it under the carpet so that they can protect their ego.

Screw western somali women I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole. Tainted, loud, abrasive, uncouth, dismissive, ghetto trash the lot of them.

HalimaJ said:

There's no point with him as he likes to deflect and blame Somali women for most of the ills of the community.

Somali women are obviously not angels, yet many of the issues we have is due to men not taking their roles as fathers seriously, yet magically Somali women are the problem.The only real issue I have with Somali women especially the older generation is that I feel they are enablers at times.

Things will not change as many of the guys are too busy pointing the finger at the women in their community, rather than having an honest discussion as to why things are the way they are.

Deep down they know what the reality is, but they would rather sweep it under the carpet so that they can protect their ego.

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Frankly, I really think just from thinking into it that most Somali women have done the best they can with what they were dealt.

They like to excuse the fathers on account of their war torn psyche from the civil war as if the mothers didn’t suffer the same if not worse.

Some of our fathers suffered bodily harm and they still did their part.

VixR said:

Frankly, I really think just from thinking into it that most Somali women have done the best they can with what they were dealt.

They like to excuse the fathers on account of their war torn psyche from the civil war as if the mothers didn’t suffer the same if not worse.

Some of our fathers suffered bodily harm and they still did their part.

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Reality speaks for itself. They know what the problems are in our community. Its all about pride and protecting their ego.

I really don't like being in a position in which I slate Somali guys as I do think things are changing and i've seen some wonderful Somali men. Also, i'm sure many are sick and tired of Somali women making them feel inadequate.

However, whats happening in this forum is that many guys here feel the need to twist the truth and blind themselves from the fact that Somali women are in a difficult predicament with regards to finding a high quality male.

HalimaJ said:

Reality speaks for itself. They know what the problems are in our community. Its all about pride and protecting their ego.

I really don't like being in a position in which I slate Somali guys as I do think things are changing and i've seen some wonderful Somali men. Also, i'm sure many are sick and tired of Somali women making them feel inadequate.

However, whats happening in this forum is that many guys here feel the need to twist the truth and blind themselves from the fact that Somali women are in a difficult predicament with regards to finding a high quality male.

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I’m not one to slander Somali guys on principle. Considering how Somali female slander is pretty much the life’s blood of this site, it’s sometimes alarming that hasn’t changed me. I’ve seen people come on here and change for the worst. If you had a bad impression of Somalis, it’ll strengthen it tenfold. But at some points, you have to address the truthbending on here.

VixR said:

I’m not one to slander Somali guys on principle. Considering how Somali female slander is pretty much the life’s blood of this site, it’s sometimes alarming that hasn’t changed me. I’ve seen people come on here and change for the worst. If you had a bad impression of Somalis, it’ll strengthen it tenfold. But at some points, you have to address the truthbending on here.

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Yep, slandering them benefits no one in the long term. Its impressive that you haven't succumbed to insulting them, despite how vile sspot male users can be.

Luckily for me, i don't have a bad impression of Somali guys in real life. I like to think the guys on this site are either trolls or a very, and I mean very small minority that isn't a reflection of the opinions of Somali men.

Also, it doesn't help that on sites like Twitter, many Somali girls slander Somali guys, resulting in male Sspot users having low self esteem and feeling the need to go on SSpot and create threads insulting Somali women. Thats just my theory. I could be completely wrong.

She's stupid, she's quite attractive and could probably snag a well off man that appreciates her but some of these black women are scared of dating out.

HalimaJ said:

Yep, slandering them benefits no one in the long term. Its impressive that you haven't succumbed to insulting them, despite how vile sspot male users can be.

Luckily for me, i don't have a bad impression of Somali guys in real life. I like to think the guys on this site are either trolls or a very, and I mean very small minority that isn't a reflection of the opinions of Somali men.

Also, it doesn't help that on sites like Twitter, many Somali girls slander Somali guys, resulting in male Sspot users having low self esteem and feeling the need to go on SSpot and create threads insulting Somali women. Thats just my theory. I could be completely wrong.

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Lack of satisfaction and bizarre disdain. You either find someone Somali that you can jive with, or you go your own way. That’s probably for the best anyway. I don’t get what’s so complicated and why they’re still wrapping themselves up in what they supposedly hate.

HalimaJ said:

There's no point with him as he likes to deflect and blame Somali women for most of the ills of the community.

Somali women are obviously not angels, yet many of the issues we have is due to men not taking their roles as fathers seriously,

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Do fathers like the ones you mentioned exist? absolutely? do they make up the majority as you like to think? absolutely not!

It may appear to you they make up the majority, but that's because you don't know the other side of the story and what transpired sometimes decades ago (talking about our parent's generation)

All you and @VixR see is a poor single mum with many kids suddenly wanting the father to be involved a decade or two later after the poor dude was humiliated, kicked out, barred from his children and almost driven to the point of insanity.

I know of so many cases like these were the family stepped in before he went crazy, booked the poor dude a ticket back home, got him remarried, so he could live another day, everyone is on this $$ contribution list to help out.

That's the side of the story you and @VixR never hear, other fathers who were kicked out were not as fortunate, they entered the marfishes in 90's and 2000's and went insane.

If you actually speak to mothers that are still married who came her in the 90's, they will tell you a lot of these shameless things that were happening.

Yes there are a fair share of dayuuth bums, and the vast majority of these bums happen to be the brainless ciyaal caano booro kids that were raised in those broken homes who disproportionately marry each other.

The straw that broke the camel's back for me is when I began to see very close friends of mine in the top 1% who married female's that had master degrees some in their late 20's

Yet they sought divorce the moment they gave birth over the most flimsiest and pettiest of things, so petty in fact, their own family rebuked them, but they didn't care and still went ahead with it.

That's the reality of the diaspora, the male is nothing more then a toothless ceremonial figure the moment he decides to marry and unlike the Arab/Asian communities there is no consequences for her actions.

Someone like myself who loves his kids and deeply understand the ramifications for my hereafter knowing they will either be a source of regret or happiness, could never take this gamble, even worse the idea of another men raising them and going through lengthy court battles just to have access.

This is the ugly reality of the diaspora, 75% of divorces are initiated by women and I believe in our community it's even higher then that. In fact I cannot even remember the last time a male sought divorce in the last 50 or so divorces that I know off.

We became as toxic as the offsprings of slaves in just two decades.

I just a video in twitter of a uk xalimo grabbing the penis of a Madow on the bus

VixR said:

There’s a pervasive bum culture in the AA community. Similarly, that’s starting to be the case for Somalis too. There’s actually a lot of unfortunate parallels between jarrers and Somalis, much as this forum denigrates them.

It’s very hard to find a decent, hardworking, Somali guy. Many of them are caught up with the law, or have no drive in making something of themselves. Despite this, too many Somali women settle for low quality Somali guys, out of IDK what, and they get surprised when it blows up. My sister uses this phrase “low expectation life” to describe the problem. They’re becoming acclimated to reality on the ground, such as the AA woman has acclimated over the years to mediocrity of their dating pool.

There’s the phenomenon of some Somali girls who’s fathers were bums, having “low expectation life” syndrome and accepting bums and any qashin, running away from Somali guys only to prove that they’re still a product of their environment, and it’s the Somali they ran from in camo, the same archetype.

But any girl, who had a family worth a damn will either be forced to find the needle in haystack, or look outside that haystack. That’s just a matter of fact.

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Have you considered the possibility that it's maybe, just maybe, the Somalis in your particular geographic vicinity largely fit that description? I don't know how you can talk so confidently by projecting a set of characteristics on all diaspora Somalis when all you have are just anecdotes and this site, which is not a perfect microcosm of the greater Somalia diaspora no matter how much you want to say otherwise, as supporting evidence?

The Madow culture black mali girls are running after