Somali numbers are at an all-time low, in the west. They just aren’t having much sex. Families are shrinking with growing numbers choosing to delay marriage and have fewer children.
Childbearing youth are now libidoless and sloth-like. Only becoming enlivened when taking to Twitter to karbash their opposite-sex compatriots.
If we intend to preserve tiny nasal cavities, prominent foreheads and high bottoms awash in a coco skin we might have to step in like pandas in captivity with forced breeding. We’ll self-select for sexy. Making sure that gamete extraction is quick and without incident.
Our method of choice is clean. No exchanging of fluids. Think babies in pods. Leave them to hatch and in a couple of moons out pops a chocolate model type that you can call your son.
If only it were that simple. Artificial wombs won’t be a thing until 2040. In the meantime, we’ll have to make do with a cash crop of genetically modified Abdis. Or do we? We could make them better.
Nature intended for them to be beautiful but poor lifestyle choices foiled these plans. Luckily, it’s somewhat reversible. There’s a technique called mewing that will singlehandedly perform miracles in adult jaw development.
The next stop on the road to jaw GAINS is facial yoga (you will look like a fool in the mirror making butterfly kiss to the sky) but have the end goal in mind (maxilla maximizing results). Combine this with strength training, eating an unprocessed diet of nutrient-rich HARD foods. And in a reasonable length of time, Don Juan – Omer will be born. And just in time for you to repopulate the earth like a modern-day Somali version of Adam and Hawa.
Should we save the Somali from population decline?
Childbearing youth are now libidoless and sloth-like. Only becoming enlivened when taking to Twitter to karbash their opposite-sex compatriots.
If we intend to preserve tiny nasal cavities, prominent foreheads and high bottoms awash in a coco skin we might have to step in like pandas in captivity with forced breeding. We’ll self-select for sexy. Making sure that gamete extraction is quick and without incident.
Our method of choice is clean. No exchanging of fluids. Think babies in pods. Leave them to hatch and in a couple of moons out pops a chocolate model type that you can call your son.
The next stop on the road to jaw GAINS is facial yoga (you will look like a fool in the mirror making butterfly kiss to the sky) but have the end goal in mind (maxilla maximizing results). Combine this with strength training, eating an unprocessed diet of nutrient-rich HARD foods. And in a reasonable length of time, Don Juan – Omer will be born. And just in time for you to repopulate the earth like a modern-day Somali version of Adam and Hawa.
Should we save the Somali from population decline?